All right, let’s face it, I’d have more street cred as a 14 year old girl with a passion for classical music and a yearning to play the viola. That said, I just can’t get past the street mod, Japanese import, teen sensation, ridiculous sounding automobile. Yes, I drive one of these cars that’s often modified by our misdirected youth. Yes, I’ve discussed this before. There are some things I just can’t put aside. I get behind someone with a muffler the size of a naval artillery piece and my imagination runs in unexpected, sarcastic, unflattering, and somewhat ridiculous directions. “Ensign, load the aft guns with the two liter bottles of Coke. We’ll show those Nutrasweet loving bastards on shore a thing or two!”

I like my car, but I know there are some things it will never be: a Corvette, Viper, or any other car with a big engine. My car will always be near the bottom of the automobile food chain. Making my car louder will draw more attention, but it won’t necessarily be good or admiring attention. I could strap an eighty pound echoing chamber engineered by Bose to the back of my car, and it’ll still have a four cylinder engine.

Now that you’ve read this variation on a theme of an entry, you are free to resume your life, already in progress.