Skin care continues to be job one at the Kauffman house this week. With the advent of more widespread skin care concerns; we’ve added two pump dispensers to our bathroom, moisturizing lotion and anti-itch lotion. Having three pump dispensers side-by-side can be a real source of levity, particularly when you consider the polar nature of their purpose.

Imagine you have just finished your shower, you’re following your dermatologist’s instructions and you’re lubing up. Imagine how much fun it would be to smear some liquid soap on your arm by mistake. It’s a real kick in the ass, almost as much fun as a full court rash. Pity poor Cheryl, the odds are not in her favor during her late night jaunts to the potty. No lights, and legally blind in fifteen states (without glasses or contacts), 1 out of 3 means your hands probably aren’t getting any cleaner.

With all the stuff I’m putting on my skin at night I feel more like I’m primping for the Mr. Universe competition, than simply bearing horizontal to log my eight heavenly hours of altered consciousness (I’m referring to sleep, of course).