On evenings past I have stumbled around in the dark looking for a flashlight that mysteriously wasn’t there. On these dark, perilous journeys through veritable minefields of wheeled children’s toys, I have wondered if the addictive effect of a flashlight on a child is similar to the effect of heroine. Sure, there are a few kinks to work out… like the fact that testing the theory will get you a 6 x 6 room to share with a man who seems way more interested in underwear than would seem normal. Just what is it about a small, battery-powered bulb that so fascinates the youthful mind; and why are adults immune to its habit-forming effects?

I find myself having to hide my emergency flashlight from curious young fingers, making it that much less handy in the event of an actual emergency. Perhaps it is yet another sign of my failure as a parent.