Have you ever heard the myth that short people tend to be the biggest braggarts? If true, imagine what it would mean if you were the totalitarian ruler of a smallish, extremely poor country; AND, you were only 5′ 3″? I give you Kim Jong-il, leader/ruler/supremely powerful person** of the ironically named “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.”

First of all, someone should tell him that you don’t help celebrate the birthday of a country you fought a war against… one that technically speaking, hasn’t ended.

Second, those rockets were, like, way overkill dude! We’ve had 230 years practice and we still occasionally loose fingers with little firecrackers. Jeepers, those babies you set off could get whole crowds killed!

Third, the whole point of fireworks is to SEE the explosion. If you let them go hundreds of miles and plunk them into the ocean it kind of defeats the purpose.

What can I say… color me Freud, he’s obviously compensating. The lesson here is that compensating often has the opposite of its intended effect: you come off looking like a bigger fool.

**Apparently there is quite a debate going on behind the scenes at wikipedia.org as to what, exactly, Kim Jong-il is.