Please put some wean in Halloween

My first mistake every fall is buying Halloween candy that I like. It’s never a sure thing that we’ll have any left when the last Trick-or-Treater comes by the house… with me going through the candy like an 80’s rock band went through hair spray. On Halloween night you can find me in my recliner, looking like some caricature of good ‘ole fashioned American Excess. I’ve got one hand on the remote and the other in the candy jar, sitting in a pile of my own empty wrappers.

I’d have more self-control at a 1/2 off sale at the Apple Store.

Give the gift of words.