Having kids is a lesson in equal opportunity, taken to extremes. Take this evening (please). First, Adam is happy with his bowl of Crock-Pot special (mommy and daddy’s diner of choice). Enter Beth, with her bowl of specially prepared, left-over Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Sooner than you can say, “mommy, mommy,” Adam was out of his chair in search of greener pastures.

Since we are parents of questionable metal, we prepared a fresh bowl of left-over Kraft Macaroni and Cheese for Adam. Enter Beth with her cup of orange juice. Sooner than you can say, “Adam don’t throw your macaroni,” the boy was up in arms over his drink selection. Going back to the issue of metal… Adam gets his cup of OJ. But of course it’s not in the right kind of cup… so we put it in a cup with a built-in straw, like Beth’s… but of course it’s not the same color as Beth’s… so we find Adam’s OJ mixed in a bowl with his freshly prepared, left-over Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

Long after we should have turned to an alternate strategy… Adam finds himself finished with dinner…

Faster than you can say, “shower time.”