‘Tis the season

How often do you open a Christmas card, only to find in its place a glitter bomb? No, no one is sending explosive devices to me in the mail. This is not an intentional act of vandalism; at least I don’t think it is. These are the decorative cards that look so sparklely on the shelf, but invariably loose some of their shine in transit. No matter how careful I am when I open the envelope, I am usually greeted by the freshly liberated glitter in a pixie-dust like shower of holiday cheer.

The problem comes when you try to clean up. Glitter removal has a lot in common with de-lousing a school age child: the only way to get it done is picking them one (near microscopic) piece at a time. It sometimes makes me wonder if glitter is a product of bioengineering. Did someone look to mimic insects and their ability to climb a wide variety of surfaces, when they made glitter? And someone tell me why glitter will remain on my skin after an intervention with steel wool, but will slough from a holiday card (where it was presumably GLUED in place) in a gentle breeze? I don’t think there’s much chance 3M is going to use the oil from my pores in their own bioengineering.

Give the gift of words.