I think the main reason I make a lousy southerner is my pure hatred for fishing. The only worse sin MIGHT be indifference to NASCAR – but auto racing is not my metaphor du jour.
What good reason is there for fishing anyway? You sit there for hours casting a line in the water and reeling it back in – like some kind of failed stimulus-response experiment. Hell, even mice stop pressing the cheese button if they don’t get… well… cheese. But fishermen? They’ll toss that line with the loving care of virtuoso pianist… like the cast is sufficient ends in and of itself. You know what? Every now and again some fishermen actually catch fish. Imagine that!
By now everyone with a radio or a television has heard the name Gonzales more often than you hear “Sweet Jesus” on a fishing show. For a couple weeks now there have been a lot of Republicans who think this is much ado about nothing. “Heck, no one’s saying any laws were broken, right?” Ah, hold that thought.
Monica Goodling, an aide to Alberto Gonzales, has refused to testify in front of a Senate hearing – citing her fifth amendment right to protect herself from incriminating remarks. Republicans were right… no one was talking seriously about any laws being broken in connection with the U.S. Attorney firing scandal… until now.
Do you suppose this qualifies as smoke, and if so, what do you suppose is burning?