Phlegm is one of my favorite words in the english language. It has so much going for it, besides the obvious comedic value. Its got the “f” sounding “ph.” It has the unpronounced consonants that the francophile in all of us adore. It rolls of the tongue as smooth as a choice obscenity.

What’s not to like about phlegm? Did you know that phlegm is tied to “humor” in more ways than one?

Maybe I’ve lost you? O.K., I can live with that. Can we at least agree that phlegm is WAY better than sputum?