• Ass Mac

    Ass Mac sm.jpgWhat would you do if your wife told you there were too many computers in the house? Could you bring yourself to get rid of a few? What if they were more than just computers… but Macs? So what if they’re just taking up space, or the bedroom is beginning to look like a storage shed. These little guys are members of the family. You don’t kick family out of the house when they stop being useful, do you?

    O.K., maybe you shouldn’t answer that one.

    Besides, the Ruby fella has some life left. He’s faster than the lime in Adam’s room. I’m just waiting for the right time to do a transfer. I won’t mind taking the lime in for recycling – he’s more of a boarder than family (he grew up somewhere else).

    My bondi-blue baby isn’t going anywhere though. That’s where I draw the line. Think of all the good times we had together. We made the first version of this web site together. He hosted another version on his own hard drive. Giving him up would be like bringing a puppy back to the pound. I can’t do it.

  • A moment of levity


    FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful

    We now resume my mood, already in progress.

  • The new doctor

    The effect was fleeting but appreciated. I finally made an appointment to see a new oncologist and she was really nice.

    I’m always nervous about seeing a new doctor. They play an important role in life and I’m afraid of getting one I don’t like or trust. The logical thing to do when this happens is switch, but I usually don’t – not for a while anyway. In fact I’ve only switched doctors voluntarily once. Hate is a strong word, so I’ll say I REALLY didn’t like one guy… but I still stuck with him for several years. I’m sure it has something to do with the relative trust in the devil you know versus the one you don’t, not that all my doctors are Satan’s spawn, but my facility for logic is easily lost in the face of fear.

    I should say that I really like most of my doctors, and not just because I trust their professional judgement. I like them on a personal level. They’re kind, patient, and caring.

    sandspur_sm.jpgMy oncologist was an exception. On some level I liked the guy, but at times he fit my stereotype for the highly educated/paid professional: he was a bit of an arrogant prick. Mind you, I’ll take a competent doctor, even if they have the personality of a sand spur. If it starts to affect my trust then I’d have a problem, but that wasn’t an issue with my old oncologist. Quite the contrary, I trusted him implicitly. I think it’s part of the reason I put off scheduling an appointment with a different doctor when the insurance issues started.

    All of these concerns were put to rest this afternoon. I found another kind doctor, someone who seemed to know her stuff – and care about the person behind the symptoms.

    I left the office feeling pretty good.

    It wasn’t enough to crack depression’s hold for long. I found myself back in the emotional valley soon enough. But, I’ll still take all the good I can get.

    —

    Just in case there’s any question, there’s still no sign of cancer in my blood. My doctor’s are confident it’ll be gone for years, and even when it does come back it’ll be easy to treat. It’s not something I was worried about going in, or going forward. I’m odd this way: all worked up over which doctor handles my routine check-ups.