• Mixed feelings

    It’s not too often that I receive an email from UF President Bernie Machen. In fact, you could say that I’ve never received an email from UF President Bernie Machen. So why now?

    No, he’s not asking for money. He’s not announcing an initiative to raise money. Instead, it’s an attempt at group therapy.

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  • What’s wet with this picture?

    As you may know, I’m in the hospital. The chemo is done and modern medicine is doing its best to rescue me from cancer’s cure. Therein lies the rub… or more appropriately, the tub. In order to flush out my kidneys I’m on a near constant IV drip of fluids. Further, I’m on a regular diet; strongly encouraged to suck up as much of the wet stuff as I can.

    Unfortunately, I am not a man of science fiction. I have no mystical reigns on the laws of physics; able to steer them at my will. Therefore, the capacity of my body to retain fluids is finite. You could hook up an IV directly to my bladder and inflate it like a water balloon… but without constant relief, it’s going to burst forth with a flow that one day will be remembered in song.

    This is why I must pay hourly* homage to mankind’s unheralded achievement: indoor plumbing.

    *Give or take 50 minutes.

  • And now for something a little lighter

    The Rays game was on in the background as I fiddled with the trusty PowerBook. The Rays were down their customary 3-4 runs after 3 innings when I was finishing up the last entry.

    Then I looked up and saw Greg Norton smack one over the fence, and my brain said, “that’s got ‘you’re such a big, strong bat… and I deserve a spanking’ written all over it. And that’s no small feat, considering baseballs are pretty small, and there isn’t a whole lot of room for a lot of dialog.”

    I’ll bet you had no idea you were going to be reading an R rated post about baseball this evening, did you?

    Must be the Vicodin again.

    P.S. It’s hard to believe I hadn’t taught my spell check dictionary the spelling for “Vicodin” by now.

    P.P.S. Has there ever been a rookie gold glove winner; and if so, does fieldwork not directly related to catching (arm strength, accuracy, and assists) qualify you for one?