• How’s your phlegm?

    Phlegm is one of my favorite words in the english language. It has so much going for it, besides the obvious comedic value. Its got the “f” sounding “ph.” It has the unpronounced consonants that the francophile in all of us adore. It rolls of the tongue as smooth as a choice obscenity.

    What’s not to like about phlegm? Did you know that phlegm is tied to “humor” in more ways than one?

    Maybe I’ve lost you? O.K., I can live with that. Can we at least agree that phlegm is WAY better than sputum?

  • Coming soon to a pandemic near you

    There’s a sign on the inside of the door to my office (not my door, but the main door) which says:

    During Flu Season: 1. cover your mouth when you cough, 2. wash your hands often….

    Pretty common sense stuff, right? ‘Tis better to infect a single hand than the air we share. Or is it? What becomes of this hand? Do you rush off to the bathroom to disinfect, with the greater good foremost in your mind? Or, do you walk around touching things? And what of those that have their own office? Sure, the fine mist which settles between the keys is a little unsightly, but isn’t the infection pretty much contained to the single office?

    Who among you with a nagging cough rushes off every time to wash your hands afterwards anyway? You could spend all day walking back and forth between your desk and the bathroom. Nothing would get done all day….

    Hmmm….

    Maybe there’s something to this after all.

    Note: the author would like to formally retract everything above. Covering your mouth when you cough and hand washing is good. Getting nothing done at work is bad… in the long term anyway. In the short term it can be a whole lot of fun ;)

  • Institutional kindness

    From an outsider’s perspective, it seems nursing homes, psych-wards, and to a lesser extent – hospitals (in general) share a common theme: much of the staff dispense kindness as if it comes in a box from the supply room. I don’t say this because I think these are bad people. I’m sure a big part of it is the environment… cue to the reader… this is my main point. Perhaps it is obvious and therefore doesn’t warrant saying, but these places (particularly nursing homes and “psych-wards”) are horribly depressing places. Imagine a person in an altered state of consciousness, stripped of every ounce of happiness, hope, and joy. Imagine a whole group of these people; in varying degrees of helplessness (unable to care for their basic needs). Now imagine you spend half of your waking hours among these people, trying to care for them.

    You might have to order your good cheer from the hospital supply catalog too.

    Yet for me, this is a big part of what makes these places so miserable. Both the patients and the people caring for them… in their own way… seem utterly hopeless.