• Working hard not to be distracted at work,

    That mild, sick feeling in the pit of your stomach? Those mild tremors that resemble cold weather shivers? The feeling that your heart is racing out of control? That’s called anxiety.

    The hockey game tonight? That’s called game seven.

    From the Office of Handicapping and Prognostication; here are a few predictions for tonight’s game,

    1. If the Lightning loose tonight, they will have a really tough time winning the cup this year.
    2. One of the teams will play well enough to win.
    3. One team will give up at least one too many goals.
    4. At some point, one of the teams will score.
    5. Someone on the broadcast team will use the word “Canadian” in a sentence correctly.
    6. No fewer than three of the commentators will utter the phrase “,all of Canada,.”
    7. I will watch the entire game.
    8. I will consider taking something to relieve my symptoms.
    9. At some point during the evening I will wish I had set my VCR to record the game and watched something else.

  • My keys to a good cup of yogurt

    1. Always choose fruit flavoring that is dark in color and full in flavor – preferably sweet, not bitter.
    2. Don’t give the “live and active cultures” any extra time to culture.
    3. Cold is good, warm is a trip to the ER.
    4. Yogurt and fried foods don’t mix.
    5. Pick an appropriate beverage to wash it down; preferably something not overly sweet. And for heaven’s sake, put that orange juice away before you hurt someone!
    6. Vanilla yogurt = plain yogurt = turn around and run the other way.
    7. Don’t take expiration dates for granted; just because it’s on the grocery store shelf doesn’t mean it’s still good. You wouldn’t normally trust your life to a complete stranger, so don’t trust it to a store clerk who only works there because of the easy access to the beer in the back storeroom.

  • Tides of emotion

    Dear Lord,

    Please give me the strength to watch just one more hockey game this season. Give me the courage to sit through the whole game. Give the players the endurance to put forth their best effort.

    And if you know of any good over-the-counter meds for severe anxiety, heartburn, and nausea, that wouldn’t hurt either.

    Amen.