• ’tis the season.

    The highs are in the 70’s, the lows are in the 50’s – it must be Christmas in Florida! I’m dreaming of an evergreen Christmas. In Florida, fall is when you trip on the stairs. Winter is the name of a meteorologist on the local news. Cold is what you get as a result of a viral infection.

    And yet, it’s my favorite time of year. The only problem is that there are only two and a half days left, then the decorations come down and the party is over. Christmas isn’t even here yet and I’m already worried about it’s passing.

  • Who says people are starving in China?

    I sincerely apologize for bringing you this news so late. The freedom loving people of the world have united in damn near overwhelming anticipation; so without further ado, here’s the news. On Friday evening at approximately 6:21 p.m. EST there was a McDonald’s cheeseburger in my hand as I gingerly eased the coupe past 600 miles. What does a McDonald’s cheeseburger have to do with this blessed event? What else can you eat while driving a car with a manual transmission?

    Now chew on this… it was a few too many burgers that caused me to put so few miles on my car. Burger + sedentary lifestyle = a lecture from your primary care physician and a lot more use out of my bicycle.

    This is just the kind of hidden message that could mean something really important. Let me know if you figure it out because I have no idea what it may be.

  • Crunch.

    Have you ever noticed the sound that two cars make when they come together in an unconventional manner? Have you heard the sound that a driver makes when her new car gets together with another in an unconventional manner?

    Have you ever taken a turn and had the back end of your car move out from underneath you unexpectedly? Have you done this after it just starts raining? After regaining control of your car and after somehow avoiding the other lanes of traffic, have you had someone plow into your now stationary car from behind you, from your own lane? Have you ever sprinted through the parking lot at your place of employment, rushing off to survey the damage to your wife and property for yourself?

    Most importantly, do you know what it’s like to walk away from an auto accident without any injuries? Thankfully, we can answer yes to ALL of these questions.