I have no idea what came over me. You may not know this about me, but I am not the most self assured person in the world. I may have even mentioned this a few times before (like every other entry?). I am definitely not one of those people that walks around with an air of invincibility. You’re more likely to see me avoiding eye contact as I scurry by. Well, maybe I’m not quite that bad. In any case, I was surprised at myself the other day. Someone who works in a different unit at our office was lurking in our suite, looking to drag someone into her web of indignacy. This person has a bit of a reputation as an instigator of unrest, and I was in no mood to get involved. She was comming in the door just as I was rushing off on an important task. As we approached she asked me a cryptic question in a conspriatorial tone: “John, do I dare?” Without breaking stride, I replied in a disinterested mono-tone: “I don’t know.” She stoped dead in her tracks, expecting me to wait for an explanation, but I passed within six inches of her as I walked right past. Her head turned to track me as I walked past her and out the door. I almost felt bad about my behavior, until I found out what she wanted to talk about. I’M FREE AT LAST!
I’m still surprised by it though. I never thought I had it in me to brush someone off like that. I don’t know if it’s a good thing either. Do you think the fact that I enjoyed it is an indicator?

Think back to all of the lessons you learned as a growing child. There are those lessons that we all invariably have to learn the hard way. Stoves are unforgiving when they are glowing. Hard, outdoor surfaces often make good abrasives. Sliding on a wood floor is an art, not a science. There’s a really good reason for the “no jumping in the tub” rule. And then there’s my personal favorite, falling out of a tree can really hurt. What, you didn’t learn those lessons too?

I was driving home from the doctor’s office today (yes, another trip to the allergist for a shot and the ensuing death watch), and I witnessed a boy meet with sudden agony. He was running down the side walk when he suddenly lost control of his ball. It made one unfortunate bounce, which brought it right to the mouth of the storm drain. Two points – nothing but oblivion. It vanished from view. In the split second that had to observe this tragedy, I saw the carefree boy transform into a victim of circumstance. I thought back to my many experiences with storm drains. I hope that he is a quicker study than I was.

I was a little disturbed at the sight. My arms were side by side in my lap, and they didn’t look the same. Bilateral symmetry is something most people find attractive in a person, so you can understand my disappointment over losing a piece of mine. What on earth would make one arm more tan than the other? And then it hit me… I’ve been driving my car without the services of my air conditioner. What does this have to do with one arm being more tan? Those of you out there that have already made the connection are free to laugh at me now (not that anything stopped you before). We all know what a farmer tan is, but are you familiar with “trucker tan”. What the hell am I talking about? If I told you that glass blocks ultraviolet light, would that help? Every evening for the last few months I have been driving home with one arm casually perched in the open window of my car. My drive home takes me north, so the sun shines down through the driver side window – onto my unsuspecting, exposed arm. What am I supposed to do now? I can’t go through my life like this, a two toned freak. No, I am not going to have my air fixed. I’ve been feeling rather cheap lately (debt will do that to you). No, I’m not going to roll up the window. I’d like to arrive alive. Take my arm out of the window? I guess I could use the extra hand. My car is a stick after all.