• The world according to a six year old.

    “Mommy, when you were little did you watch the Care Bears forty hundred times?”
    “No Beth, I could only watch the Care Bears on the weekend because we didn’t have cable TV, VCRs or DVD players”
    “Oh, you mean back in the old days?”

    I am certain that I never referred to anything being associated with “the old days”. I am certain that I have never heard Cheryl refer to “the old days”. I am therefore confident that this piece of english language nostalgia did not rub off from one of her parents. So this begs the question: are we getting old?

    I am definitely older, but I am certainly not old. Lets review. I am too old to enlist in the armed forces. No loss there. I’m more the “make love not war” type anyway. I am past my athletic prime, so the window for achieving my childhood desire to be a professional soccer player has all but closed. That was a dream that died hard in middle school when I didn’t make the club team final cut, so that one isn’t eating me up either. I have unintentionally repeated things that my father told me when I was a child. This one is a little concerning, but taken on it’s own isn’t much.

    So am I old? My coworkers would say no. My daughter would apparently say yes. I am relatively young by most societal standards. I am 32 years old (almost). According to the U.S. Census, the mean and median age of the U.S. population is right around 37, so I am below average in that respect. But what do I think? After all, mine is the only opinion that matters. Let me just say this: I’m just getting started. Pity my poor wife and child.

  • The art of procrastination.

    Have you ever put off doing something for five years, then got up in the morning and decided, “I’m going to do that today.”? We were printing our tee-shirts – “I survived the dog days of summer, 1998” – when I told Cheryl that I would run some speaker wire behind the wall. (No, we weren’t really printing tee-shirts.)

    Imagine a lazy summer day, five years ago… “Cheryl, I was tired so I just ran the wire from the ceiling (from the attic), but I think I can run it behind the wall. I’ll do it soon.”

    If you were talking about continental drift, then five years really is soon. Somehow I don’t think Cheryl had that in mind. None the less, today was the day. I sit here, in my living room, listening to music from speakers with newly re-routed speaker wire. After leaving more body fluids that I would have liked in our attic, I would have thought it sounded better. Maybe that’s just the dehydration talking.

    It’s almost a shame we did it. Five years is a household record for putting things off. It will take some time to top that one.

  • Eyes wide open.

    Counting down the days until Beth’s thirteenth birthday with a few reposts from the archives.

    Originally posted: Jul 10, 2003, Beth’s age: 5 (almost 6)

    We have been thinking about Beth’s birthday present for some time now. Tonight we took action. Cheryl called around to see which stores had the item in stock. After a couple of disappointments we found one that had it. Cheryl took off this evening after dinner to pick it up. When she returned we were both eager to open it up and see what all the fuss was about. Sitting on our bed, gathered around this thing like a couple of thieves admiring their stolen treasure, we opened it up. After dispensing with the requisite “oohs and aahs” we put it away. Just as we were closing the box Beth appears in the doorway with a question. The item was small so it was easily hidden.

    “What are you guys doing?”
    “We’re wrapping your birthday present.”
    “What is it?”
    “We’re not going to tell you.”
    “Is it a Game Boy?”
    “Beth! Just go to the family room and close the door.”

    Well, as a general rule I don’t like to lie to the kids… but I wasn’t about to tell her the truth. However, this was one of those times I wondered if Beth was pushing certain buttons on purpose.