Kitchen Sink

The fat man and a little boy

This afternoon I was having a pleasant conversation about the movies, when I became helplessly mute over the name of a famous actor. I was fishing futilely for anything resembling a name, tossing out hints with reckless abandon. “You know, Superman’s father… the fat guy…” Apparently the actor in question is known for more than being fat, and such characterizations can…
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Kitchen Sink

Beating up on the average

Oh how I wish I could find the source! I’ve been googling like a man posessed by the spirit of Pytheas, seaching in vain for a little thing called “documented proof.” Ah, but I’ve only just started this entry and already I’ve digressed twice (by hyperlink). What on Earth was I looking for? I heard on the radio a few days ago that some kind of poll was taken, and it…
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Kitchen Sink

Failure of a frightfully familiar kind

Two – 2 – mornings in a row, I put a pot of water on the stove, prepared my grinds and all the fixings, and waited patiently for the water to boil… and waited… and waited… These past two mornings it’s taken me an average of six minutes to determine that the stove was off. I’m pleased to say that I’m comfortable with my failings. Why else would I be…
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Kitchen Sink

Sitting in court

So I’m sitting in court, and I see something I haven’t seen since the third grade. You know how children have this innate ability to flash a disingenuous smile on demand? Picture two eight year olds having a heated debate… over who is most deserving of the last popsicle in the freezer, and one says, “well, at least I don’t pee my pants at night.” Can you picture…
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Kitchen Sink

Semper Fidelis

Some of you may know my daughter. Of you lucky few, some of you may know about her affinity for the art of inquisition. Is it any wonder that her father has been known to throw down with a Q or two in his day? All of this leads us to a few weeks ago. I was walking the hallowed halls of state government, and a conversation ensued with a fellow civil servant who was known among his kind to be a…
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Kitchen Sink

A DST lemming no longer

We here at the Kauffman Household (v. 2.2.2) dislike the Spring Forward phenomenon, more popularly referred to as “Daylight Savings Time.” Accordingly, we’ve decided to pull an Arizona and opt-out. That’s right friends, the Kauffman Household will be on standard time year round! There are a few kinks I’ve yet to work out (soliciting special considerations from my…
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Kitchen Sink

Institutional kindness

From an outsider’s perspective, it seems nursing homes, psych-wards, and to a lesser extent – hospitals (in general) share a common theme: much of the staff dispense kindness as if it comes in a box from the supply room. I don’t say this because I think these are bad people. I’m sure a big part of it is the environment… cue to the reader… this is my main point.
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Kitchen Sink

Thinking out loud

Foreword: The author wishes to make it clear at the outset that he does not intend to advocate one position over the other in this entry. This entry’s sole purpose is one of (semi-public) self-exploration, in light of his position of indecision. This also serves as a word (or twenty) of warning: I may be about to treat serious issues with less gravitas than is warranted. What does it mean to…
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Kitchen Sink

Come fly with me

I’ve got this great big window in my office, looking out on Tampa Bay from the third floor. This is not idle bragging, it’s critical information, the absence of which renders this entry less meaningful than usual. People new to my office tend to stare a wee bit. More often than not their eyes take in a framed sign I have posted on the sill (which looks exactly like a horizontal metal…
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Kitchen Sink

Myth, religion and reality

Ancient Sumerians are thought to have believed in a place called Irkalla. The ancient Greeks knew of a place called Tartarus. The Hebrew bible refers to Sheol and Gehenna. Islamic traditions (and possibly the Koran – I haven’t taken the time to research it much) refer to Jahannam. Christianity – and much of modern western civilization – call this place Hell. We all have a…
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