Forward thinking

It would be a pain in the ass, but I think it just might save my sanity.

Imagine if you will: the twelve days of time change.

Everyone agrees leaping backward is a breeze. I’m a backwards kind of guy anyway, so I’d be willing to soar backwards. But forward? Losing an hour of sleep in one cruel cut? It’s insanity. Why don’t we walk forward instead, in twelve manageable chunks of five minutes a clip? Like I said, it would be a pain in the ass, but in the spirit of saving daylight, how about we save a little sleep too?

Plus, even if you do forget to set your clock forward for a day or two, you’re only throwing yourself off five or ten minutes instead of a day destroying hour. We could even make it into a celebration – a nearly two week holiday celebrating the proximity of spring, and the sun hanging out with us a little longer each day. Instead of the time changing in the middle of the night, we could do it in prime-time. Times Square could drop a ball twelve nights in a row when we all step back from nine o’clock to eight fifty-five. Liquor stores would make a killing. Productivity in every other industry would see a lull, but surely it takes time for the workers of America to recover from the trauma of losing an HOUR all at once. I know I’m usually in a funk until at least July.

Call your representatives in congress fellow Americans! It’s time for change!