Have pity on me dear reader, for I must forsake my beloved paper in the name of good mental health. By “paper,” I am of course referring to the news… or the printed version thereof. I can not look at it for fear of what I know I will see: a large cover story about a certain local sports franchise with a pirate motif, who laid a second consecutive egg in the face of their opposition. I’m sorry, they didn’t exactly lay an egg – they scored three points after all…

After a decade long reprieve, it seems the football gods are once again angry with the Tampa (pirate-like) franchise. Pray tell dear reader: what is the source of all this bad mojo?