I got to work this morning and had some caffeine. I would tell you that I sat down and enjoyed a morning cup of joe, but I’d feel dishonest. We all know that coffee is just a delivery device for caffeine anyway, so,. After some morning “go” juice I was clipping away at a healthy pace, whistling while I worked. You walk through a state office building and see how many people are…
If you are anything like me, you’ve always been a little afraid of “fruit on the bottom” yogurt. It’s one thing to eat something that’s still alive (re: “live and active cultures”). It’s quite another to crack the seal on your yogurt and worry that you might have seen it move. That’s why I’ve been such a fan of Yoplait’s line of…
One day you wake up and the sentence, “I’m sure glad my wife bought whole wheat hot dog buns” makes perfect sense. A few years back, heck, just a couple of months back, I would have rejected the concept of a whole wheat sheath for the world’s most popular mystery meat. Who REALLY prefers the taste of whole wheat to white? It just doesn’t happen. It’s like…
There are movies I watch where I expect little and receive little. There are movies where I expect a lot and I receive a little. There are movies where I expect a lot and I receive a lot. There are also movies where I expect little and I get a lot.
There are movies where I expect simplicity and I get simplicity. There are movies where I expect complexity and I get simplicity. Are you getting the…
There comes a time in everyone’s life when the bedroom becomes the most precious of sanctuaries. The sweet quiet of night, the warm embrace of sheets, the loving cradle of a mattress, the familiar surroundings, the womb like protection from the outside world, but it all must come to and end sometime. Eventually the bedroom delivers you unto the waking world. Ready or not, here you come.
Damn…
What do pre-mixed tile grout, Windex, Lysol cleaning wipes, dryer sheets, and unleaded gasoline have in common? Nothing really. Unless that is, you consider what I did today. It was a day that will live in the annals of (Kauffman) history forever. It was a day when John tackled an outside chore and an inside chore in a single day. And, if that were not enough – he did more than one inside…
Cheryl, John, John, Cheryl.
If not for the fact that chance meetings between strangers rarely occur in your master bathroom, you’d wonder if the two people in this story knew each other. On the eve of prime time, this fine March evening, Cheryl was slaving away in the bathroom. She left the bathroom running at full impulse power, carrying an armful of cleaning supplies. Upon her departure…
“Cheryl, why don’t you take the knobs off before you paint the doors?”
“If you want to paint, then take the knobs off.”
Touche!
Three hours later,
I find myself finishing up the inside of our pantry door. I’m putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece, a flawless paint job around a doorknob – still installed. It must have taken me fifteen minutes…
We’ve all been there, right? You know, one of those days where we set ourselves up for a spectacular failure.
It all started with my bottle of freshly mixed, instant ice tea. First, I picked up the bottle, applying a sudden force. Due to the nature of the force applied to the bottle, it rose from my desk in a relatively rapid manner. The bottle, in turn, applied a similar force to the…