I’ve been going for a new look lately. You see, Cheryl has been away from the office for a good while now, so I thought I would try to make her feel at work. I’m cultivating an “I’m on felony probation” look. It’s rather easy. You don’t shave, you put yourself on the 48 hour hygiene plan, and all systems are go!
What surprises me the most is that she hasn’t said anything yet.
I did really well in statistics when I was at UF. I liked it so much I took two different courses in statistics. That’s showing the numbers some love. While not an expert in statistics, I consider myself an astute observer of facts and figures. So I found my numerical senses tingling when I received an email from Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, U.S. Congresswoman from the 18th district of Florida.
How did…
Over the last twenty-four hours, I’ve rethought my views on legalized gambling, although my plan goes much farther than any of the proposals thus far. If we are really interested in raising money for state government, things like education and health care for the needy, why should we allow a private company to take a share, when the whole take could go back to the good folks of the State of…
Just what I need to admit, Cheryl will be so proud, every man, woman and child will be impressed,
I didn’t take a shower today.
No, I’m not playing semantics. I didn’t take a bath either. I didn’t swab down with wet wipes. I didn’t take a sponge bath. I didn’t take a spit bath, a la the common house cat. I did nothing whatsoever to improve my outward cleanliness in the last twenty-four…
If you decide to vote this November (I’m talking to you, 49%), you’ll be asked to make a decision about gambling. Yes, gambling rears it’s ugly face in Florida politics once again this year. This time, pro-gambling forces are making a play for a foot in the door – rather than the heretofore-unsuccessful full frontal assault.
Here’s the ballot language (courtesy of Vote Smart…
Who among you knew that I was a great husband? Lest you doubt me, I have proof. Today I was in the maternity store in the mall buying nursing bras for my wife. If that were not proof enough, listen to this,
I had several intelligent questions for the clerk regarding size and style, and I knew the correct responses regarding nursing pads (not disposable, white, no lace). It was a small shop and…
It was the second day of life for my second child. I was lying down on the “daddy cot” in my wife’s room at the hospital. My newborn child was lying on my chest, peacefully sleeping away the first hours of his life. A visitor was there and remarked, “these are the best days of Adam’s life.”
I have this terrible contrarian streak in me, so naturally my mind leapt into action. There I…
At 1:38 p.m. a painful, yet blessedly brief chapter in Cheryl’s life came to a close. Adam Kauffman was born. After witnessing the pain, the fatigue, and the fear of childbirth, Adam’s emergence into our world brought tears to my eyes. To see a child being born is to see an epic struggle. In this case it was Cheryl versus the pain and the keeper of the painkillers. Cheryl ultimately lost to…
Midnight is a good time for sleeping. It is a good time for the lights to be out and everyone to be tucked securely into a snug cocoon of warmth, the mind occupying itself only with the business of oblivion.
Of course, that was not to be my lot in life on this night.
Cheryl and I had been home from the hospital for all of twelve hours, and I had been asleep for a fraction of that, when Cheryl…