Well folks, it’s been a long night. Like many of the other candidates for elected office this evening, I’ve been sitting by the television sweating out the election results. But, after a long evening, after months of work and countless hours of effort, victory is mine. By a unanimous 1-0 vote (mine ultimately being the only vote that counts), I have won another term as speaker of the…
Today, more than ever, we rely on technology to sit atop the food chain, masters of our domain. We use computers to manage huge amounts of information. We use complex machinery to automate factories and mass produce everything from disposable plastic spoons, to the computers that manage the machines that make the disposable plastic spoons. We genetically engineer papayas to make them more virus…
There are times when my son makes the most unusual noises.
When they say that all children are different, I would assume they all at least sound like mammals. You see, there is a time of night when Adam wakes from his newborn slumber. He’s not upset, well not exactly. He sounds like he’s trying to pull a grunt out of his arsenal of noises, but what comes out of his mouth instead sounds…
I began to conceive this entry while sitting in an awkward position. You see, I’m not really good at being the center of attention – and I found myself the guest of honor of a most unlikely celebration for the male of the species: a baby shower.
It had been a surreal day to begin with. I was suffering from sleep deprivation due to a late night, acute release of emotion. Yes, I’m…
This political season is much like other political seasons; the hacks are out in full force repeating the sound bites like dolls with pull strings. My favorite is the line about government run health care, shortages, and rationing.
While there is a rational explanation, and it is only one isolated example, I think it is just precious that the industrialized world’s most free market driven…
The other day I was talking with a coworker about how I always manage to get on the wrong end of a rivalry, or in other words, the only team that saw it as a rivalry. Dunedin High School versus Clearwater (basketball and football), UF versus FSU (the last fifteen years or so in football), Red Sox versus Yankees, Rays versus, well, I guess we don’t really have a rival there, but you see the…
Do I have faults? Do I do and say stupid things? Does a newborn baby cry in the middle of the night? Do I have funny looking toes?
As Beth and her peer group might say, “Duh?”
One of the most rewarding means of compensating for our faults is pointing them out in others. In that vein, let me tell you about Cheryl, and the great egg debate. As it turns out, Cheryl fancies herself the…
An excellent indicator that Boston is in the World Series is my inability to adjust the time on my Seiko. Due to a nervous, disturbingly cannibalistic habit, I have an insufficient collection of rigid tissue at the end of my fingers to pry out that wicked small knob on the side of my watch. Not having “mother nature’s screwdriver” handy at a moment’s notice is terribly…
In the south…
I have it on good authority that if John Kerry is elected president, kids will have to go to school on Saturdays and Sundays, and they will only have brussel sprouts and cabbage for lunch in the cafeteria.
George Bush, on the other hand, has the courage to take on the liberal school boards. He has the backbone to take on the vegan lobby. He has the strength of character to stay…