• Squirm like your life depended on it

    Have you ever seen a scene in a movie like this? Bad guy number 1 is holding down a good guy from behind, while bad guy number two is slowly approaching with a glowing hot poker (or some other glowing hot instrument at the end of a long handle). If the good guy is not a “tough guy,” the scene usually involves some violent struggling (to get free) as B.G. 2 gets close.

    A strikingly similar scene plays out every time my daughter needs a shot (or blood drawn). This is why I think allergy shots for Beth will be a spectacularly bad idea. How would you like to play the role of “bad guy number one” every week? A number of health care professionals (several of which specialized in children) have reassured us by saying: “lots of kids… (fill in the blank), but they come around.” The funny thing is: many of them only say it once. Why could that be?

    I wonder what Beth would choose, if she were given the choice? Sure, her nose runs and itches a little… but I’ll bet she’d pick that (pun intended) over a weekly interrogation scene (without the questions) at the allergist’s office.

    I’m debating what to tell my daughter when the inevitable question comes up: “is this going to hurt?” Being a needle wimp myself, as well as a father that likes to be honest whenever possible, I can’t just say “no.” Then again I’m not sure I can be completely honest…. “Well Beth, that depends on which nurse you get. If you get (censored) it feels kind of like she’s using a needle meant for a sperm whale; but even that wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t feel like she was having a seizure right in the middle of giving you the injection. Otherwise, with everyone else it just feels like a little pinch.”

    All of these questions and more will be answered this afternoon, one way or another. Goody for me.

  • One more thing I don’t understand

    It has come to my attention that someone has purchased a computer. What is odd about this otherwise mundane purchase? Apparently the computer was purchased for the sole purpose of playing online poker. In my humble opinion “online poker” has no business being in a completely serious statement. Florida Statutes should require that the words “online poker” only appear in a punch line or witty comeback… such as, “It’s not like I bought the thing just to play online poker.”

    Isn’t there some other use for a computer? If nothing else, aren’t there other online gambling opportunities; like maybe: craps, blackjack, slots, or virtual cockfighting?

  • Give me a little credit

    Cheryl and I are working an angle. Don’t we sound slick? I’ve always wanted to work an angle. Ever since certain inadequacies surfaced in high school math, I’ve had an acute case of protractor envy. (Ego note: kidding aside, I was quite good at high school math.)

    Actually, this angle we’re working is not nearly as cool as I make it out. (Although there’s no disputing geometry rates pretty high in math circles.**) We’re looking into switching credit cards. Nothing illegal mind you, we’re just looking to join the approximately 250 million Americans maximizing their spending potential. No, we’re not looking to live the American Dream on credit. We’re just thinking if we have to spend money on stuff anyway, we might as well put it on a credit card with a good rewards program. Since we pay off our balances once a month we have no need for the lower interest rates that are typically a trade off for rewards programs (unless you count our credit union card, which has a low interest rate AND a rewards program – although not a great one).

    Now comes the hard part: which rewards program do we choose? Picking one has gotten almost as complicated as saving for retirement. There are gas cards, miles cards, cash back cards, rebate cards, entertainment cards, retail cards, home improvement cards… even a cigar card. Many of these cards have subcategories… and it goes without saying that there are differences from bank to bank.

    We have a two year old. One of his first words was “Mickey.” Guess what kind of card we’re leaning towards?

    ** In reality, I really have no idea how geometry rates in math circles.

    “A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.” – Alfred Renyi