• Give me a little credit

    Cheryl and I are working an angle. Don’t we sound slick? I’ve always wanted to work an angle. Ever since certain inadequacies surfaced in high school math, I’ve had an acute case of protractor envy. (Ego note: kidding aside, I was quite good at high school math.)

    Actually, this angle we’re working is not nearly as cool as I make it out. (Although there’s no disputing geometry rates pretty high in math circles.**) We’re looking into switching credit cards. Nothing illegal mind you, we’re just looking to join the approximately 250 million Americans maximizing their spending potential. No, we’re not looking to live the American Dream on credit. We’re just thinking if we have to spend money on stuff anyway, we might as well put it on a credit card with a good rewards program. Since we pay off our balances once a month we have no need for the lower interest rates that are typically a trade off for rewards programs (unless you count our credit union card, which has a low interest rate AND a rewards program – although not a great one).

    Now comes the hard part: which rewards program do we choose? Picking one has gotten almost as complicated as saving for retirement. There are gas cards, miles cards, cash back cards, rebate cards, entertainment cards, retail cards, home improvement cards… even a cigar card. Many of these cards have subcategories… and it goes without saying that there are differences from bank to bank.

    We have a two year old. One of his first words was “Mickey.” Guess what kind of card we’re leaning towards?

    ** In reality, I really have no idea how geometry rates in math circles.

    “A mathematician is a machine for turning coffee into theorems.” – Alfred Renyi

  • Being functionally blind is WAY underrated

    I can’t speak from personal experience, but having seeing problems looks like a major bummer man. Glasses can be a real pain, even when they are professionally fitted. No matter how well adjusted they are, there’s no getting around the fact that you’ve got some precariously balanced scaffolding hanging on your face. The gentle tug at your ears, the pinch at your temples, the pressure at the bridge of your nose… all of it can wear on you after a while.

    If I had to wear contact lenses I’d simply lose my mind. I’m really protective of my eyes – bordering on a mild phobia actually, so I can’t imagine poking myself there twice a day to fiddle with contacts. Then there are my parents to consider. If I were to start putting my finger in my eye now, at least 17 years of behavior modification and reinforcement is out the window.

    All of this leads us to our latest ER adventure; involving an eyeball, a contact lens, a corneal abrasion, an eye patch, and a script for eye drops laced with antibiotics. Here’s one more case where genetics can be a real bitch… one way that all “men” are most definitely NOT created equal. Mom… Dad… I love you.

    Given my 20/10 vision, any guesses who’s wearing the patch?

  • Copywrong

    “Default” is more than just a word, it’s a way of life. Sparse, relatively evenly trimmed greens, browns and sand is the default lawn in Florida. Seventy six degrees is the default temperature on my expensive, programmable thermostat. “Make it shorter” is a default hairstyle. “Whatever you’d like” is the default husband answer.

    One of the default settings on my “blog” software is “no Creative Common’s License” (a canned copyright statement). I thought long and hard about changing this one. Part of me would be honored to be plagiarized. It would presuppose two things; one: I’ve written something original myself; and two: I’ve written something someone thought worthy of copying – that they thought well enough of to represent as their own. The only better affirmation I can think of is a big fat book deal; but since it’s unseasonably warm in hell this year I don’t think my snowball is going anywhere (one more thing I can blame on global warming).

    Then I thought to myself, “let’s cut to the chase. What’s this all about?” Then it came to me: ego. Blogging has brought back self absorption, the likes of which we haven’t seen since Jane Fonda put on her first pair of leg warmers. Pray tell: what says “I’m special” like copyrighting your hobby? It used to be cell phones; but a lack thereof has ascended to the level of social disability. (Having one isn’t so special if everyone else has one too.)

    In the words of Abby Hoffman (sort of), STEAL THIS BLOG! (Pretty please?) You see I’ve just thought of something in between asserting copyright and a big fat book deal… suing someone for copyright infringement. Pretty sweet, eh?

    Hey, we all have our dreams…