• Size matters

    All right, let’s face it, I’d have more street cred as a 14 year old girl with a passion for classical music and a yearning to play the viola. That said, I just can’t get past the street mod, Japanese import, teen sensation, ridiculous sounding automobile. Yes, I drive one of these cars that’s often modified by our misdirected youth. Yes, I’ve discussed this before. There are some things I just can’t put aside. I get behind someone with a muffler the size of a naval artillery piece and my imagination runs in unexpected, sarcastic, unflattering, and somewhat ridiculous directions. “Ensign, load the aft guns with the two liter bottles of Coke. We’ll show those Nutrasweet loving bastards on shore a thing or two!”

    I like my car, but I know there are some things it will never be: a Corvette, Viper, or any other car with a big engine. My car will always be near the bottom of the automobile food chain. Making my car louder will draw more attention, but it won’t necessarily be good or admiring attention. I could strap an eighty pound echoing chamber engineered by Bose to the back of my car, and it’ll still have a four cylinder engine.

    Now that you’ve read this variation on a theme of an entry, you are free to resume your life, already in progress.

  • Boots over Belgium

    BRUSSELLS, Belgium (AP) – Seeking to brush up on his bona fides as the “American Wartime President,” President Bush had tough talk for Europeans on the issue of Syria and Iran on Monday. While Bush would not rule out the use of force in Iran or Syria, he did claim there were differences to the situation in Iraq and Iran, “, for one thing, we’ve got a whole mess ‘a troops in Iraq, I’d bet the ranch in Crawford we haven’t committed as much personnel to Iran.”

    Meanwhile, Americans continue to follow world events closely. In a CNN/Gallop poll taken this weekend, Americans were asked whether Iran or North Korea posed the more immanent threat to U.S. interests. Over 80% of respondents answered “yes.” Critics of the poll claim the results are invalid, because it was not a yes or no question; but it has not stopped the administration from touting the results when asked about American sentiments by European reporters. “One of my favorite songs talks about gamblin’; about knowin’ when to hold ’em and when to fold ’em,” Bush said. When asked what this had to do with the situation in Iran or North Korea, Bush’s assistant stepped in. “That’s all folks. Sorry, no more questions.”

  • Tempting fate

    I have added my wife as an authorized author for this site. So, if you see an entry posted by “Herself” and you suspect I didn’t post it, I probably didn’t. Why on Earth would I do such a thing? Heck if I know. She hasn’t asked and I haven’t asked her; it was a spur of the moment thing.

    **Contrived linguistic bonus: “Spur” might just be an apt metaphor, in more ways than one.