• The root of all evil

    Well folks, the office water cooler chit chat round these parts has uncovered the root cause of all problems with politics in this country: too many layers of clothing.

    Forget about olive branches, “reaching across the isle”, faux civility, and honest debate on the issues via sound byte. What we really want to see in Washington is a Capital Dress Down Day. If they want to connect with me on a personal level they should spend a day walking my shoes – or at least the same brand and style. Wouldn’t you take the folks in Washington more seriously if they didn’t take themselves so damn seriously? Picture a clip on the evening news where the Senate Majority Leader is addressing his charge on a serious matter, wearing a t-shirt and flip flops. If all those Washington newbies were serious about setting a new tone in Washington then maybe they should try something truly bold – banning all neckwear. That’s right, no more Italian silk ties for you mister speaker!

    I’m not quite the fool you take me for. Casual clothing won’t solve all of our problems in Washington. Politicians would likely remain stuffed shirts, but without all those layers of clothing we’ll at least be able to see what those shirts are stuffed with. Brings a whole new meaning to “open government,” don’t it?

    Thousands of years from now, when future societies try to understand the 21st century version of mankind, will they wonder why early men had such an obsession with slowly strangling to death? Will they wonder why superfluous, ornamental layers of clothing persisted in our culture for so long? Will they see the necktie as an instrument of submission, and conclude that our culture was really a matriarchy?

  • Returning to the fray

    Two weeks is enough. I think my self imposed mourning period is about over. I don’t want to shock the system, so I’m taking it slow. On Tuesday I watched a documentary on the Middle East. On Wednesday I read the paper. This morning I listened to NPR. Tomorrow I’ll try to put the pieces of my routine together, reading the paper, listening to NPR AND checking up on the world news on the internet.

    I’ve been trying to tell myself that things haven’t changed much in two weeks, other than the tone and substance of TV advertising.

    Like everything else in life, you take the good with the bad.

    And hey, look at the bright side. Maybe by 2008 there will be a whole new constitutional landscape and we can elect the Terminator! In typical inept fashion, I could foresee the Democratic Party trying to out-do the Republicans at their own game by nominating Lou Ferrigno, pandering to the fringe of the party by proposing an amendment granting equal rights to all members of the Sub-phylum Vertebrata (Phylum Chordata, Kingdom Animalia), and by holding voter registration drives at wildlife preserves all across the nation.

  • Pulling a problem out of a hat

    I know, you probably hear this all the time, but please bear with me in my time of need. I’ve got less than 800MBs left on the hard drive in my server. My poor revision B iMac has survived several whims to replace it with my old iBook, but it’s time may have finally come. The only thing saving it now is the knowledge that Cheryl is sure to put on a full court press for a purge if another computer goes on the inactive list. Doesn’t the little guy deserve a little more respect? Doesn’t more than six years of faithful service mean anything?

    Although the prep work is going slow, the iBook server project could be online as soon as Thursday night. And here’s something that’s sure to get those parotid, sublingual, and submandibular glands pumping: I’m working on updating the blog software. (Never underestimate the power of a high school anatomy class.) Yes kids, you heard me right. I’m switching out the server AND upgrading the software all in one shot. I’ll give you a minute to go find your socks.

    Did you know that it has been more than 482 days, 2 hours, and 24 minutes since I first served up this site from my home? I didn’t either.