• What is it with the bodily fluids?

    Colds and bad cars have dominated the last few entries. Well, it’s high time I talked about something I like.

    I like my iBook. I am a convert to the joys of portable computing. I only sit at a desk when I absolutely have to, which now means only at work. I have a faster computer sitting on a desk in my living room. It is a wonder of modern technology, but it is big. Plop me down on my couch and put my portable in my lap and I am in computer heaven.

    I like Cheryl’s new car. It is everything the lemon was not. It has room. It feels well crafted. It does not shimmy, shake, vibrate, or buzz.

    I like my new car. I didn’t want to have to buy one, but as long as I did I might as well have something I like. It is small. Traffic is a plaything for my new car to toy with. The manual transmission is smooth (compared to others I’ve driven). The engine is responsive, without being a gasoline hoarding pig. It is colorful.

    I like the weather this time of year. Crisp and clean with no caffeine.

    I like my friends. They put up with me when I’m busy entertaining myself.

    I like November, December and January. Over 55% of all Florida state employee holidays fall in these three months (not counting the floating “personal holiday”).

    I like my hobbies. Reading, bicycling, writing, picture taking, screwing around with this site – I’ve got a few things to occupy my time.

    I like it when I think I’ve thought of something new, even when it turns out it isn’t.

    (Author’s note: this is not meant to be an all-inclusive list. There are plenty of things I like that do not appear on this list. There are probably many things I like more than the things on this list, that are not on this list. Why then did I bother with a list? If I don’t know then I can’t expect you to know, can I?)

  • Why am I coughing?

    As a service to hypochondriacs everywhere, here is a list of conditions that list “cough” as a symptom. I am providing this service free of charge. You may notice that there are some repeats (is it necessary to list “Dust mite allergies” and “Allergies” separate?). Some are just plain vague (“Lung conditions”). Just keep in mind that this is not my list.

    Acute Appendicitis, Acute Bronchitis, Adenoviruses, Allergic bronchopulmonary aspergillosis, Allergies, Alveolar Hydatid Disease, Asbestosis, Ascariasis, Asthma, Blastomycosis, Bronchiectasis, Bronchiolitis, Bronchitis, Bronchopulmonary dysplasia, Cancer, Carbon monoxide poisoning, Chemical pneumonia, Chlamydia pneumoniae, Chronic Bronchitis, Chronic Granulomatous Disease, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Chronic Sinusitis, Coccidioidomycosis, Collapsed lung, Common cold, Croup, Cystic Fibrosis, Dengue hemorrhagic fever, Dilated cardiomyopathy, Dust mite allergies, Ehrlichiosis, Emphysema, Epiglotitis, Esophageal diverticulum, Esophagus Cancer, Familial emphysema, Fascioliasis, Flu, Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, Goodpasture syndrome, Hay fever, Heart failure, High altitude pulmonary edema, Histoplasmosis, HIV/AIDS, Hookworm, Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, Larynx Cancer, Lassa fever, Legionnaires’ disease, Lung abscess, Lung cancer, Lung conditions, Lymphangioleiomyomatosis, Lymphocytic Choriomeningitis, Measles, Melioidosis, Mesothelioma, Mold allergies, Nocardiosis, Parainfluenza, Plague, Pneumococcal pneumonia, Pneumoconiosis, Pneumonia, Pneumonic plague, Pneumothorax, Psittacosis, Pulmonary edema, Pulmonary embolism, Pulmonary valve stenosis, Respiratory syncytial virus, Sarcoidosis, SARS, Schistosomiasis, Silicosis, Sinusitis, Slap-cheek syndrome, Strongyloidiasis, Tourette Syndrome, Toxocariasis, Tracheitis, Tuberculosis, Upper Respiratory Infection, Wegener’s granulomatosis, Whipple’s Disease, and Whooping Cough.

    Are you feeling ill? Do you feel like you want to die? Just read the list. Maybe you really are.

    (Source: http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/sym/cough.htm)

  • Bad blood.

    I have made it perfectly clear that I hate Saturn. I have no problems with any of the planets in our solar system, but I do have problems with a particular american auto maker. My dislike is easier to live with now that I am no longer burdened with the lemon formerly parked in my driveway. However, because of this dislike I am happy to share this drive time story with you today.

    I was driving down the highway on my way home from work. Like all good defensive drivers, I was paying attention to the cars around me. I noticed another victim of Saturn ahead and to the right of me. At first there was nothing obvious about the car to suggest that the driver was a victim, not yet anyway. In fact, the car looked pretty good (for a Saturn). You know what they say about looks… they can be deceiving. Much to my surprise (I’m sure the driver was surprised too), the front driver side fender started flapping like a flag in a forty mile an hour gale. The front corner would drop to the ground and bounce up, due to the forward movement of the piece of cr… I mean car. Traffic was moving at brisk forty miles an hour, thus producing the flapping like movement. I don’t know much about cars, but I don’t think body parts are supposed to swing free like a guy in boxer shorts.

    Other than the bouncing action off of the pavement, it looked like a perfectly good front fender. Of course, the fender might not have been Saturn’s fault. Maybe the guy needed a few screws to hang things on the wall at home and decided to take them out of his car. Maybe there’s an epidemic of fender loosening pranksters running rampant on the Florida highways. Maybe he was in a minor fender-bender and decided to save a few bucks by installing his own replacement fender. Then again, maybe he just bought the wrong kind of car.

    Regardless of the real reason, you know my vote.