In my book it is written: “no menthol-less cough drop shall come before me.” Come on, it’s the menthol that makes it go, I dare you to say it isn’t so!
I was sitting in my office, my throat in perfect operating condition, when I decided I wanted some menthol. Release the Halls! Nay, instead I got a poor, sugared up substitute. I got a luden’s. Don’t get me…
Introducing the amazing Adam and his stupefying feats of physical misfortune.
Why is it that we take so much joy from an infant’s struggles with motor coordination? Why just the other day we were chuckling over Adam’s latest attempts to sit up unassisted. His poor little head was ducking and weaving like a wanna-be on The Contender. (The author feels compelled to advise you that he has…
Once upon a time, I went miniature golfing with a mixed group of friends (both adult and child sized). I was putting along, having a grand time, when I noticed the uneven pour of the concrete sidewalk. With full knowledge of it’s unpredictability, I decided to bounce my ball on said sidewalk. Just as I predicted, the ball went shooting off on a path skewed from gravity’s well. Thanks…
As a general rule, metal is a better conductor than cloth woven from natural fibers. Heck, I’ll go out on a limb and wager that metals tend to be better conductors than many man-made substances found in clothing. As a general rule, I shouldn’t wager too much based on my knowledge of the “physical sciences” – as it extends only so far as you can throw a Florida public…
There are a slew of unfinished entries in the queue, but this one is begging for the front of the line. This weekend found the Kauffman family spending some holiday cheer in our nation’s (vacation) capital. My in laws are good Catholics, and I try to be a good son-in-law, so we all went to mass. It started out as a nice piece of ecumenical pie.
When I step in a church I don’t typically…
After 12 hours off the juice (m.o.l.) we’re back on the air. Since I am not a professional athlete (no offense Jose), I am speaking – of course – about a delicious cup of Tropicana Pure Premium. (I got your euphemism right here buddy!)
Seriously (and a little less cryptically)…. A nasty little storm bit us in the civilized keester this morning, but no (permanent) harm, no…
It is day eight of the ninth coming of Star Wars, and I have yet to step foot in a theater. What’s worse? I have yet to make firm plans to do so. What’s even worse than that? I haven’t even thought about it that much.
No, I didn’t wake from a week long coma this morning, kidnappers did not cede to anyone’s ransom offer, and aliens didn’t just finish their tests.
Skin care continues to be job one at the Kauffman house this week. With the advent of more widespread skin care concerns; we’ve added two pump dispensers to our bathroom, moisturizing lotion and anti-itch lotion. Having three pump dispensers side-by-side can be a real source of levity, particularly when you consider the polar nature of their purpose.
Imagine you have just finished your…
How would Noah have felt if, after the flood waters had receded, God had said, “Thou hast served me well Noah, but I am still not pleased. Getting creation right is like trying to get an indigo stain out of my toga. Let’s try that again.” Would Noah’s wife have borne witness to the Old Testament’s first tantrum – or had Adam already laid claim to that…
Cheryl says it’s my fault.
I think it’s Cheryl’s fault.
An old man from my old church, whose name I can not immediately recall, would submit that the natural order – the force that surrounds us, flows through us, and bids us together, is relying on Cheryl being right.
Cheryl was discussing the ins and outs of defensive tactics, when I made a decidedly smart assed remark…