Once upon a time, I went miniature golfing with a mixed group of friends (both adult and child sized). I was putting along, having a grand time, when I noticed the uneven pour of the concrete sidewalk. With full knowledge of it’s unpredictability, I decided to bounce my ball on said sidewalk. Just as I predicted, the ball went shooting off on a path skewed from gravity’s well. Thanks to my…
As a general rule, metal is a better conductor than cloth woven from natural fibers. Heck, I’ll go out on a limb and wager that metals tend to be better conductors than many man-made substances found in clothing. As a general rule, I shouldn’t wager too much based on my knowledge of the “physical sciences” – as it extends only so far as you can throw a Florida public servant (such as the…
There are a slew of unfinished entries in the queue, but this one is begging for the front of the line. This weekend found the Kauffman family spending some holiday cheer in our nation’s (vacation) capital. My in laws are good Catholics, and I try to be a good son-in-law, so we all went to mass. It started out as a nice piece of ecumenical pie.
When I step in a church I don’t typically see a…
After 12 hours off the juice (m.o.l.) we’re back on the air. Since I am not a professional athlete (no offense Jose), I am speaking – of course – about a delicious cup of Tropicana Pure Premium. (I got your euphemism right here buddy!)
Seriously (and a little less cryptically)…. A nasty little storm bit us in the civilized keester this morning, but no (permanent) harm, no foul. The…
It is day eight of the ninth coming of Star Wars, and I have yet to step foot in a theater. What’s worse? I have yet to make firm plans to do so. What’s even worse than that? I haven’t even thought about it that much.
No, I didn’t wake from a week long coma this morning, kidnappers did not cede to anyone’s ransom offer, and aliens didn’t just finish their tests. It’s all about the…
Skin care continues to be job one at the Kauffman house this week. With the advent of more widespread skin care concerns; we’ve added two pump dispensers to our bathroom, moisturizing lotion and anti-itch lotion. Having three pump dispensers side-by-side can be a real source of levity, particularly when you consider the polar nature of their purpose.
Imagine you have just finished your shower…
How would Noah have felt if, after the flood waters had receded, God had said, “Thou hast served me well Noah, but I am still not pleased. Getting creation right is like trying to get an indigo stain out of my toga. Let’s try that again.” Would Noah’s wife have borne witness to the Old Testament’s first tantrum – or had Adam already laid claim to that distinction?
If I weren’t so…
Cheryl says it’s my fault.
I think it’s Cheryl’s fault.
An old man from my old church, whose name I can not immediately recall, would submit that the natural order – the force that surrounds us, flows through us, and bids us together, is relying on Cheryl being right.
Cheryl was discussing the ins and outs of defensive tactics, when I made a decidedly smart assed remark – counting on a…
There is a term of feline persuasion, used as a form of derision, which is used almost exclusively to describe the hirsute sex. I willingly submit that this entry paints a bull’s eye on my back.
I have a rash. Now there’s a good time waiting to happen. Throw in a little fever and it’s a real party. Toss in a wife with a proclivity for hypochondria, and you’ve got an off hours visit to the…