There are movies I watch where I expect little and receive little. There are movies where I expect a lot and I receive a little. There are movies where I expect a lot and I receive a lot. There are also movies where I expect little and I get a lot.
There are movies where I expect simplicity and I get simplicity. There are movies where I expect complexity and I get simplicity. Are you getting the…
There comes a time in everyone’s life when the bedroom becomes the most precious of sanctuaries. The sweet quiet of night, the warm embrace of sheets, the loving cradle of a mattress, the familiar surroundings, the womb like protection from the outside world, but it all must come to and end sometime. Eventually the bedroom delivers you unto the waking world. Ready or not, here you come.
Damn…
What do pre-mixed tile grout, Windex, Lysol cleaning wipes, dryer sheets, and unleaded gasoline have in common? Nothing really. Unless that is, you consider what I did today. It was a day that will live in the annals of (Kauffman) history forever. It was a day when John tackled an outside chore and an inside chore in a single day. And, if that were not enough – he did more than one inside…
Cheryl, John, John, Cheryl.
If not for the fact that chance meetings between strangers rarely occur in your master bathroom, you’d wonder if the two people in this story knew each other. On the eve of prime time, this fine March evening, Cheryl was slaving away in the bathroom. She left the bathroom running at full impulse power, carrying an armful of cleaning supplies. Upon her departure…
“Cheryl, why don’t you take the knobs off before you paint the doors?”
“If you want to paint, then take the knobs off.”
Touche!
Three hours later,
I find myself finishing up the inside of our pantry door. I’m putting the finishing touches on my masterpiece, a flawless paint job around a doorknob – still installed. It must have taken me fifteen minutes…
We’ve all been there, right? You know, one of those days where we set ourselves up for a spectacular failure.
It all started with my bottle of freshly mixed, instant ice tea. First, I picked up the bottle, applying a sudden force. Due to the nature of the force applied to the bottle, it rose from my desk in a relatively rapid manner. The bottle, in turn, applied a similar force to the…
Having lived in a housework deficit for three, germ infested, weeks; Cheryl was as eager as an alcoholic in a liquor store. (I am convinced her need for clean is a symptom of an addictive personality, but don’t tell her I said that.)
“John, would you like to do some mopping this morning?”
Good thing I wasn’t eating at the time, I might have needed medical attention.
The Kauffman Household, version 2.2.1, has all the appeal of an isolation ward. It’s enough to put a smile on all those kids that made fun of me in grammar school. Yes, there’s been a real run on items such as Kleenex and cough drops. It all started with Beth, yes, Beth. Beth spends six or so hours, five days a week at the germ bank, known in some circles as “the public education…
Have you ever wanted to let out a cathartic scream, but didn’t? Futility over comes you instead, and you do nothing – hopelessly wallowing in the absurdity of the moment.
A phrase comes to mind, “if it’s not one thing it’s,”
One minute Cheryl is guilting me into riding my bike to work. She’s browbeating her parents into accepting my exercising needs. The…
My daughter is in second grade, and she has spent more time on homework these last couple days than I spent my entire senior year of high school. Now before you say something snide about my senior year of high school, remember that I got into a decent college – even after my senior year. However, I will admit I was something less than your model high school student (unless your model was…