When I was growing up I always wanted to be a designer of retail packaging. What child didn’t? My idol was Timothy Foil, the inventor of the microwave crisper. Genius. Yes, when other kids were playing with their Matchbox cars I was daydreaming about “easy-open” child proof pill bottles and microwave safe packaging for Chef Boyardee. Now I’m sitting in my cozy office with a…
Yesterday I was presented with a choice. I was given an opportunity to react to some offensive behavior. I was given the opportunity to act like an adult, to place myself above the fray, and be an example of responsible behavior.
And of course, once again I went the other way with it.
Once again this choice presented itself on the road. Once again I was on my bike. Once again I was startled into a…
I needed a pair of shoes for work. The old ones were developing an extra opening to the outside world, so it was finally time to find a replacement. Normally I can count on Cheryl to have better taste than me, but her choice of shoe was a bit unpractical, they don’t let you buy her choice without proper I.D. (re: AARP). That left me to make a choice of my own, and when ever I have to make my…
Ho hum. Another Super Bowl. Anyone who says it’s as big a thrill the third time around is either lying, or kidding themselves.
Now if I could just wake up.
Seeing as how I’ve done such a wonderful job of caffeine impulse control (curse my damn ingenuity), I’m desperate for some pick-me-up. I could ask one of my coworkers to sneak up on me at random times during the day to try and…
What a perfectly awful day the hump day has become. Why do I tremble when other men rejoice? It’s all in the timing. The Wednesday schedule puts me in my home, ready to relax, at the one hour ’til bedtime mark. What, pray tell, can I do with a lousy hour? In the adult scheme of things, one hour is about as useful as one dollar, one square of toilet paper, or one shoe. I spent ten…
Here’s my list of the world’s largest bureaucracies, listed in order from biggest to smallest: the U.N., the U.S. health care industry (lumping providers and insurers together), the old Soviet Union, and the Federal Government. Feel free to quibble with my order – I’m not married to it – but you’ve got to admit that they all deserve to be on the list. Today I…
What’s not to love about an eraser that can stand easily on six different sides? What about a mouse pad that sees duty only as an iPod throne? Or a stack of recycled Post-It notes, tastefully arranged in a spiral pattern on your desk? Or a well used cardboard box top that serves double duty as a used paperclip receptacle AND a target for flinging paperclips across the office. What about that…
It has been a month since I resolved to eat better, exercise more, and live well.
It has been a month since my last carbonated beverage.
I’ve only been to Starbucks three times (maybe four, tops).
I popped a Walgreens caffeine supplement once, but I REALLY needed it.
The occasional side trip to Starbucks aside, I’ve limited by beverage intake to water and unsweetened, decaffeinated tea…