It’s past my bedtime on a work night and I’m still awake; a perfect time to grab my handy-dandy iBook and let my fingers do some talking. I would really like to share some good advise I got from a friend, the only problem is said friend makes up half of my readership. Oh hell, if it benefits even one person it will all be worth while. Of course that’s the best I could hope to do…
Your foot makes an odd sound when it taps on a fake wood, laminate floor. It doesn’t sound like wood. It doesn’t sound like plastic. It sounds just like a piece of particle board sitting on top of a thin sponge. Why on earth am I talking about the acoustics of my living room floor? (Insert you favorite line about readership here.)
Waiting at home, instead of work, waiting for a meeting…
“This is Bright House Networks, how can I help you?”
“I’m having a problem with my cable box.”
“What kind of problem are you having with your cable box?”
“I can’t watch cable TV.”
“Can you be more specific?”
“Yes.”
“Well?”
“This is where I’m supposed to describe my…
Do you know what it means to “put out fires”? I’m talking about the metaphorical kind. There is a kind of thrill to spending your entire day running around putting out fires. Due to low self-esteem, I get a kick out of the fact that people think enough of me to let me try to put them out. Silly, silly me! How easily I am duped! Also, the day seems to fly. No day moves faster than…
My wife is in the front seat. She looks back at Beth who has just said something. It appears it was amusing. Cheryl looks happy, a mischievous smile on her face. She says something to Beth that I can’t hear. Joe starts to laugh. Annette reaches a hand from the steering wheel and gives Cheryl’s knee a mock slap. We’ve turned the corner. The trials of the morning have been left at…
On the road to Sarasota, we struggle to learn the lesson of sharing with others. There is one DVD player with sound system in the car. The adults want to talk. The child wants to watch a movie. The person that fits somewhere in between wants to listen to iTunes. The child doesn’t like to watch movies with distractions. The ‘tweener doesn’t want to listen to any of the above.
You’ve heard of tryptophan, the culprit long suspected of putting the turkey eating hordes to sleep on Thanksgiving. What I want to know is, why didn’t anyone suspect the alcohol? Come now, get a bunch of American families together once a year for a holiday “good time” – and you’re telling me no one is going to go heavy on the silly sauce? What’s more…
Earlier this year we replaced the outside unit to our air conditioner. Figuring, “what’s a hundred more dollars…”, we sprung for a fancy programable thermostat to go along for the ride to financial ruin. After the installation folks left, we read about all of the cool features of our new thermostat, most of which we could figure out on our own. One documented feature eluded…
Another first is upon us! We, the members of the Florida Kauffman Family Household (version 2.2**), are intimately familiar with the warm air blowing in the summer phenomenon. Having air conditioning in Florida is like having a public defender when you are falsely accused of a crime and you’re dead broke; you know you need it but you wouldn’t trust it any further than you could carry…