• Going down?

    Let’s see… the wife is feeling worse?
    Check.
    The kid had a bad day at school?
    Check.
    Cancel out on an anticipated weekend getaway?
    Check.
    Up past my bedtime?
    Check.
    Wax sentimental about a great week prematurely?
    Check.

    Sometimes weeks are like that. You never can tell when it will all make a run for the crapper. Is it better to have had good days and left them behind, than to never have had them at all? Would you feel the same if one of those good ones was as recent as yesterday? I suppose it’s better than the whole week swirling away into a dismal abyss.

    Someone really ought to take my computer away from me at bed time. My life would come across so much more cheery in this thing.

    Tomorrow is a new day. A day of opportunity, of possibility. Oh shit, a day closer to having to mow the lawn again!?! Remember the good old days; back when the days were getting shorter, the weather was getting cooler, and the lawn was beginning to die? Ah, that was the life.

    BAAAHHHH!

    It’s time to start counting sheep.

  • I knew there was something I didn’t like about this time of year.

    Something made me come in the house through the side door. I have no idea what it was, but that’s not really important. As I glanced toward the back yard I noticed something disturbing. There was a green life form starting to take root in my yard! Alas, it appears it’s that time of year again… that 6 – 9 month window when things grow, seemingly all by themselves, in my yard. Do you think the neighbors would mind if we fenced in the whole yard, bought some sheep, and let the yard go to pasture? Come to think of it, I wonder if there’s a tax advantage to be had by raising livestock on your land?

    This idea could be getting better and better!

  • Second thoughts about a particular nervous habit.

    Is there an expiration date on finger nails? Should they be refrigerated after opening? Do they taste better fresh or reheated? Do you take yours with meals or are they strictly a nervous habit? Do you ever wonder afterwards where your fingers have been? Have you ever seen one under a microscope? Have you ever tried to culture one? Is there such thing as a finger nail that is too short? Have you ever tried to trim yours with a paper cutter? Do you find any of this amusing at all?