Category: Sports

It’s great to be a Florida Gator

In my freshman year of college my school hired an alumnus to coach it’s football program. From the first game he coached (in my sophomore year) until he left, he was constantly quoted in the press saying that there was one championship that he and his players had some control over, and that was the one championship that was his goal going into every season. That was their conference championship.

I’m several years removed from my college days now, and I can’t go to games with any regular frequency anymore, but I still watch… I’m still a fan… I’m still on the wagon, whether the band’s along for the ride or not. This year Florida had a pretty tough road to travel: including a tough schedule with several of their big rivals on the road. They had a tough season, with the dismissal of arguably their best player (due to drug use) coming mid-season. With injuries they finished the season with two reserve offensive linemen… and one of those was a tight end that kept a different pair of shoulder pads on the sideline in case he had to fill in as a tackle. In the first half they lost their third leading tackler on defense (the starting safety), and arguably their best remaining defensive lineman – two key defensive players, to injury. Yet they played on, as they did the whole season, and they won the one championship they had any control over: the SEC championship.

Now there’s going to be a debate: who should play Ohio State for a national title? As a Gator fan, I’m tempted to say that team should be UF. But you know what? I can’t say it in good conscience. Florida owed their one and only national title to a rematch game… one that shaped up sort of like the Ohio State / Michigan game will undoubtedly shape up (the differences being UF was number one when they lost to number two FSU – and when they lost, later in the season, they dropped to number four).

With more twists than a season of Lost, UF made it to the Bowl Alliance game (the precursor to the Bowl Championship Series) after the ’96 season. The only reason their victory in the Bowl Alliance game over FSU got them the national title (they were ranked number three going into the game) is because the Rose Bowl was not yet part of the Bowl Alliance, and the PAC-10 champ after the regular season, Arizona State (#2 going into the Rose Bowl) was bound to playing in the Rose Bowl… where they lost. Don’t forget the series of events that got the Gators into the Bowl Alliance game in the first place (namely the BIG upset in the Big Twelve Conference Championship Game where Texas knocked off #3 Nebraska). And THEN, had the Rose Bowl not held out of the bowl alliance, Arizona State would have been playing FSU for the Championship by virtue of their better ranking.

So to recap ’96: #1 UF loses to #2 FSU in the last regular season game. FSU moves to #1, Arizona State to #2, Nebraska to #3, and UF to 4 (I may have the Arizona and Nebraska rankings mixed up). Nebraska loses their conference championship, moving ASU to #2 and UF to #3. However, ASU is forced into playing in the Rose Bowl, which isn’t part of the Bowl Alliance, and which allows UF a rematch against FSU. Arizona State loses in the Rose Bowl and UF beats FSU in their rematch… giving UF the title. At the time Spurrier said God must have been a Gator fan. Usually I don’t think God is much of a sports fan… but the way it worked out this might have been an exception.

So you see, I can’t begrudge Michigan their second shot at Ohio State. UF is hardly in a position to argue… considering their history.

The only real argument here is for a playoff – which will probably never happen. Although, never is a long time.

**Correction (12/3): this entry previously identified Ohio State as the loser of the ’97 Rose Bowl. In fact, Arizona State went into the Rose Bowl #2… and lost to OSU (as this entry now states).

Inappropriate metaphors

(Author’s note: this entry makes a little more sense knowing it was written two weeks ago.)

Your body is not a bank. In so far as you are not made up of mortar, timber or stone, this is pretty obvious. The bank as a metaphor for your body’s function doesn’t work well, on many levels. You see… with a bank you can’t continue to make withdrawals without the occasional deposit. The horrible reality of my body is that I can continue to make withdrawals long after a bank would have cut me off. The occasion of this observation is an example of bad judgment, whose consequences I reap at this very moment. Last night I offered my sleep on the altar of sacrifice to the football gods, in hopes that the fortunes of at least one of my favorite teams would improve (the mighty – if slightly overrated – Gators not withstanding; their accomplishments having faded with the awful performances witnessed yesterday).

Earlier in the day the home team (the Bucs) came to the stadium pick up their paychecks. They stuck around for a few hours, shedding a few pounds of pride, and making a few fans nostalgic for the days of Sam Wyche. Later that evening, my alternate team took the field in prime time, looking to spoil the perfect start of the team formerly from Baltimore. They spent the first half playing to the strengths of the Equus Shoes… stacking the line and playing single-coverage on their exceptional wide-outs on defense, and attacking the edges of their undersized (but fast) defensive line on offense. It was during this display of the Patriot’s coaching staff out-smarting themselves that I made the decision to make my sacrifice. Rather than go to bed (like a sane person), I stayed up to watch the whole thing.

The butcher’s bill for the evening (besides a couple of disappointing football scores) was three and a half hours of sleep.

Assuming my wife has any pity for me (she doesn’t), my kids could play quietly after dinner (I don’t have anything else to say about that), and the bank metaphor of physiology holds more water than your average fork; I could just go to bed around six this evening to balance the books. Even if I could… I just can’t. After working all day, coming home to chores, child bed-time prep, and dinner; going straight to bed feels like betrayal. I can’t just go to sleep with out doing something just for me.

No, I won’t be catching up on my sleep anytime soon. In fact, I may make matters worse tonight (I’ve been itching to play Halo 2 again).

My mind is cruel this way, when it comes to sleep. The truly troubling aspect of this ordeal is that I knew all of this going into last night, and I still stayed up late to watch the Patriots lose to the Equus Shoes. I knew I’d spend all week not catching up on my sleep, regretting it every single morning, and repeating the performance the following night.

Hello. My name is John and I’m an idiot.

Here’s to good mental health

As much as I hate to say it, Auburn made a heck of an adjustment in the second half against Florida last night. The Gators ran pretty much at will in the first half, but the Auburn defensive line ate the Gators for a late evening snack in the second. There were few holes for the running game and Leak was under constant pressure. Even the wunderkind Tim Tebow couldn’t find room to run in the second half.

The worst of it is I’m now relying on the retro-Bucs for good mental health going into this workweek. May the football gods help me!

Gators in the hunt

After watching another nerve wrenching college football game, I was in no condition to watch a hockey game. The Lightning were making their first home appearance of the season, so I couldn’t just ignore it. So I tuned in, against my better judgment. Then they went down two-zip in the first period, and I just had to turn the television off. It’s after midnight and I still don’t even know the final score. This is the effect of college football has on me.

Now I don’t want to wax prophetic, anointing Tebow the great white hope of Florida Football… but the kid is tough. I was watching the game, taking in a Tebow play, and I asked myself: “Did he just run over a safety, carrying a defensive lineman on his back?” Enter Vern Lundquist (who never saw a missed call he didn’t like). “That’s a true freshman, pushing over a safety. Unbelievable.” For once I had to agree with Vern. But before I start getting overly anxious to call Timmy’s number, I need to see the boy throw a little more. After all, a quarterback does throw the ball every now and again… even an option quarterback. He’s put the ball in the air a few times, a couple times for touchdowns. However, a common theme for most of his throws has been a WIDE open receiver. When I say WIDE open, I mean having your own zip code. I’d like to see how the boy does when he has to sneak a ball in through double coverage, or when he’s got to place the ball in the seam of zone coverage. Then I’ll be ready to join the bandwagon. Until then… I’ll still be glad to see the ball in Leak’s hands on passing downs. I will say this: the offensive staff did a heck of a job game planning the LSU game. I’m not sure anyone could have gotten more out of the personnel at their disposal. Consider the fact that the Gators had NO running game with Winn out, and were playing against what might be the best defensive secondary in the SEC. The Gators haven’t exactly been an offensive juggernaut in the first five games… and yet they managed to go one dimensional against a strong pass defense, and pull out the win.

That’s unbelievable, but in a good way.

No fair

If you read the sports section of the St Pete Times, you may have read a column by John Romano about the new owners of the Rays. The title of this article is: “New boss looking too much like old boss.”

As you may have guessed, I have a problem with this article (why else would I be writing about it?). In order to address my issues I must first point out the problems with the “old” owner and the specific charges against the new owner – which I will then attempt to refute (on the fly… per usual, no forethought went into this post).

First of all, the old owner was cheap, had a terrible sense for public relations (either that or he had a pathological lack of restraint), and his staff made generally bad personnel decisions. As for the charges against the new owner, Mr Romano implies that he may be cheap (although he doesn’t specifically level that charge), and that he may lack a good business sense for baseball. Responding to (team president) Matt Silverman’s suggestion that it won’t help to spend money just to be able to say money was spent, Romano states:

The plan makes sense as a business model. And if it were my money, I might tell Silverman and Andrew Friedman to do exactly what they’re doing.
But here’s the catch:
A baseball team is not like a regular business.

To some extent I agree with Ramano, but not in a way that is favorable to Romano’s argument. Owning a baseball team is not like a regular business… in some ways it may be easier to turn it around, from a public relations point of view. When a product in the marketplace earns a bad reputation for quality, it can be impossible to shake it. People stop buying, they stop talking about it, and it withers and dies. On the other hand, a baseball team gets constant exposure in the news, no matter how badly it does. Even if no one goes to the games and personally witnesses a turn around in quality on the field, it gets reported on the front page of the news to legions of potential customers. Immediate positive exposure results, bringing customers flocking back. Just look that big, mid-season win streak under Pinella. The team had been doing wretched in the beginning of the season (not counting the eight or so years prior to that), but two weeks into that good month and attendance was already going up significantly. How many other businesses can turn around sales figures that quickly?
How about being cheap, or the bad owner’s attachment to terrible public relations? I give you (or rather, the new owner gave you): free parking, tailgating, your own food in the stadium, stadium renovations, and arguably… a better overall game day experience. That doesn’t exactly sound cheap or bad to the public’s ears. You can argue that free parking is a net gain for the owner, because more people come to the games as a result (increasing revenue in other ways) – but would a “cheap” owner do it? Did a cheap owner do it?

As for personnel moves… we won’t know how those pan out for a few years yet, but take a look at what they gave up in trades versus what they got back. They gave up a starting shortstop in the last year of his contract who probably wouldn’t have re-signed, a 30+ starting pitcher having a career year (which for him yielded a 4 – 5 ERA), a 30+ catcher who had reached his potential, and a 30 year-old designated hitter who had been in decline for several years (even if he had been hot for a month prior to the trade). They got back four players (that I can immediately think of) who played at the major league level this year. They got a 26 year-old catcher who may be just as good NOW as the one they gave up (not as good an arm, but a switch hitter with equal production and who may handle pitchers and overall defense better), a pretty good defensive shortstop (who admittedly needs work on offense), a starting pitcher and a relief pitcher. No, they didn’t get another Scott Kazmir, but that wouldn’t be a fair measuring stick. Those kinds of lopsided trades are the stuff of legend – not the basis for how all future trades should be judged. However, they did get a AA starting pitching prospect that has been absolutely tearing it up at Montgomery. Essentially they gave up some older players for youth and upside. If you have to spend money wisely (and let’s face it ,this is not New York or Boston), shedding salary for potential isn’t always a bad idea… even if it is hard to swallow as a fan.

In one way Romano is right, the Rays are no better this year in the win-loss column. However Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither were the Minnesota Twins. The Twins are a low revenue team it wouldn’t hurt to emulate. They aren’t competing with Boston and New York for free agent signings either (although they don’t have to compete in the same division… but that’s a topic for another entry). Let’s give the new owner AT LEAST a full off season before we brand him with the “next Naimoli” label. I think his moves so far have given him the right to expect THAT much from us, no matter what the win-loss record is this year.

And in the end…

I can finally exhale. Gators by one in a nail biter. The Gators played just well enough not to lose.

I suppose UT had something to do with it too.

I can’t remember the last time a national broadcast team made so many mistakes. Not since the Lightning won the Stanley Cup anyway. Getting player’s names wrong and mixing up one player with another (even if their number is CLEARLY visible), but mixing up the teams?

Irv: “That’s first down FLORIDA!”
Me (from the couch at home): “Ah, Irv… the team in orange is Tennessee… it has been all evening.”

CBS happens to be the network for the SEC, and it has been for years. Irv has been along for the ride the whole time. That means he’s had a long time to tell the teams apart.

I’m a prickly bastard, aren’t I? Imagine if UF lost.

I should be settled down enough to sleep in three… four hours tops. Maybe I should play some Halo on the ‘ole Xbox. That ought to settle me right down.

Tween time

I am stuck in that moment between getting home late and the time when you feel like going to bed.

We decided to go to a Devil Rays away game this evening, and we’re just getting back. They were at Tropicana Field, where they occasionally play home games, so we didn’t have to travel too far. Tonight’s benefactor of the ice cold Rays’ bats were the Indians from Cleveland; and there were a lot of Indians from Cleveland there this evening. It was so bad there was this old Midwestern fella who pointed to the Rays’ base runner on first and arrogantly proclaimed, “I’ll bet that guy hasn’t stolen a base in HIS short career.” He was, no doubt, playfully taunting the Rays’ fans about all the youth being served on the field. It was almost too bad that the guy he was pointing out was Carl Crawford.

It sucks when you can’t get a taunt right… on the player’s home field no less.

In the middle innings, Beth got into a grudge match with a couple of Indians sitting around us (we were surrounded).
Beth: “Why are you rooting for the Indians?”
Indian: “Because I was born in Ohio.”
Beth: “But where do you live now?”
Indian: “I live here.”
Beth: “Have you lived here a long time?”
Indian: “Longer than you have kid.”
Beth: “Then you should be rooting for the Rays.”
Indian: “We can’t help where we’re born kid.”
Beth: “My dad was born in Boston, and he roots for the Rays.”
Indian: “I think I might have left my lights on.”

Then there was the drunken Indian incident.
Beth: (Screaming at the top of her nine year old lungs) “GO RAYS GOOOOOOOOOO AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Drunken Indian: “Way to go kid, gimme five.”
Beth: “Why should I give you five? You’re an Indian’s fan.”
Drunken Indian number two: “HA HA HA! She showed you!”
Indian chorus: “HOO HOO HOO! You tell him!”
Dad: sits quietly in his seat, not sure whether to be proud or afraid for his daughter’s life.

Capping the evening off, Beth gets in the extended, post game bathroom line.
Woman leaving the bathroom, walking past, talking to someone else: “There was this little girl in there trying to talk one of us into letting her cut in line….”
Beth’s grandfather: “I wonder who they could have been talking about.”
Beth’s dad: “Yeah, I can’t imagine.”

There are times when I can see a lot of myself in my daughter, but not one of those times came up this evening.

Upton update

With yet another Rays loss last night, I went fishing for some good news.

BJ Upton, one of the Rays’ top twenty fielding short stops this year, was moved to third base 12 games ago. The move was made possible with the acquisition of another short stop prospect via trade with Houston. Prior to the trade and subsequent move to 3B, Upton had an error per game rate of .318 (28 errors in 88 games played). Since the move to third base, he has an error per game rate of .167 (2 errors in 12 games played).

Could this be a sign of things to come? Will Upton make Rays fans forget names like Smith, Sandberg, Castilla, Gonzalez, Blum, and Huff?

Then again, are either 27 or 51 projected errors in a season acceptable?

Bite of the bug

In the beginning there were local sports, and they were occasionally good. Home teams present and past; Bucs, Pats, Bruins, and Bosox held occasional sway with my attention. Home teams past were particularly prominent as there was but one home team present; as were the high scoring affairs: namely football, owing to my impatient nature.

Ah, but things change: home team became home teams, and youthful impatience gave way to a mature appreciation of the sweet science of sport. Rays and Lightning, despite their losing ways, supplanted Bruins and Bosox… just as the lower scoring affairs gained more equal footing with almighty Football.

Now I find myself tracking the progress of prospects, reading box scores, and sitting through whole games. Not every game mind you – they play almost every night for heaven’s sake! But watching some is more than none, and reading up on box scores and prospects is more than the occasional article in the paper.

Look at me: mature sports fan.

As the home teams have taken their rightful place among my allegiances, I have found other changes: tenuous ties of place becoming roots of home… my sense of self shifting from northern transplant to… something else. Florida may be a place without a “sense of there,” but it isn’t exactly the south either; too many people from elsewhere, bringing their “there” here for geography alone to define my home. The home team is here, not there, and it can’t be the home team unless this is home; so whether or not outsiders or fellow transplants find a sense of “there” here, in my own way I have found “here” here, and I can finally say *I* am home.

Go Rays!

Cold snap

Colds, illness and allergies are running rampant through the Kauffman Household (v 2.2.1). There’s a flip side to a saying… “Anything that doesn’t make you stronger will only kill you.”

Ah, now that’s a relief.

Oh, this is also the time of year when all of the optimism of spring training… is shattered by terrible D-Rays pitching. With a couple of exceptions, it’s been kind of bad. How often does your offense score 7 runs, most of them really early, and you still lose by six runs? Man, I really-really wanted McClung to do well last night.

Ah well. Looks like the Sox are doing well, at least. Man, I NEED re-alignment! I heard an interesting idea… that divisions were divided up by team payroll… the top five AL payrolls in one division… and so on. Yet another idea that will never happen.