I was having a good day. Everything was fine until I heard one stray comment. Do you have days like this? Can one or two sentences ruin it for you? I wish I could say I have the self assurance to shrug off what other people think and say, but it’s not me. Not at all. It sticks with me. It burrows and churns through my mind, infecting everything that follows.
“I don’t get it.
More than a year ago my mother was committed to the state hospital, three hundred miles away. She hasn’t gotten any better. The last news I heard from the staff was they were going to try stopping all her meds and start over from scratch. The options are somewhat limited because the medication that worked (for a long time) just about destroyed her kidneys.
Before she was shipped off to the…
There was a long time when I couldn’t get over feeling angry with my mother (like she had some choice in this). I was angry that she wasn’t like everyone else’s mom. I was angry that she made all of us different by association. I was angry that middle and high school were really hard – in part – because she was so different (and because I wasn’t strong enough to…
There’s a Judge in this Judicial Circuit I think might be a few bricks shy of a wall (the ones on the bottom… that make it stable). I can’t tell you why due to agency policy about discussing work in public forums. It says I can’t.
But imagine my surprise when I looked at the original order of comitment for my mother (when she was shipped off to the state hospital) and saw a…
Every now and again I sit down with my PowerBook and an entry for this blog almost writes itself. It doesn’t happen very often, but it’s a rush when it does.
This entry was not one of them.
I’ve sat down half a dozen times, trying to get this one out, but it just won’t go. Maybe I’ve just got to practice some tough love. Maybe it’s time to kick it out the door…
I’m making the drive up to the State Hospital in Chatahoochee to see my mother this weekend. I’m not worried that the 12 hours in a car will do me much harm, but the exposure to germs gives me pause. Still, it’s been five months since I’ve seen my mother. I simply can’t stay away any longer.
I haven’t checked the weather yet, but it could be interesting.
Those are the kind of signs I don’t like too much… but who does? (Sometimes I think I just sit here and type shit, just for the sake of typing. Although, I’m getting to like this funky iMac keyboard, so there are worse things I could be doing that typing crap for the sake of typing.)
Dad’s making the drive to Chattahoochee for the first time this weekend. I thought I might…
Putting aside this evening, which was a total loss, today was a pretty good day. The latest round of steroids and antibiotics gave me a bit of a reprieve from sinus pain. Dad came over for a nice dinner. Afterwards we sat around the table sipping a dessert wine, just hanging out and enjoying each other’s company.
The evening was even better, considering the set back we had on Thursday. My…
It’s been a while since I’ve written anything about my mother, but it hasn’t been because nothing’s happening. I just don’t know what to say, or if I want to say it. That makes it sound kind of bad, but it isn’t; not really anyway.
The second sudden recovery came and went, but it was encouraging in that she didn’t lapse back quite as far as she had been.
Written 8/18 and forgotten…
I know it’s a coping strategy – wholly reasonable and acceptable by most standards, but I feel guilty. This morning when the kids woke up I wanted to play, share their youthful enthusiasm, and take heart from the knowledge that some of that enthusiasm was because of me. This morning when my wife was quietly reading the news, sipping her coffee, I snuck…