Skin care continues to be job one at the Kauffman house this week. With the advent of more widespread skin care concerns; we’ve added two pump dispensers to our bathroom, moisturizing lotion and anti-itch lotion. Having three pump dispensers side-by-side can be a real source of levity, particularly when you consider the polar nature of their purpose.
Imagine you have just finished your…
How would Noah have felt if, after the flood waters had receded, God had said, “Thou hast served me well Noah, but I am still not pleased. Getting creation right is like trying to get an indigo stain out of my toga. Let’s try that again.” Would Noah’s wife have borne witness to the Old Testament’s first tantrum – or had Adam already laid claim to that…
Cheryl says it’s my fault.
I think it’s Cheryl’s fault.
An old man from my old church, whose name I can not immediately recall, would submit that the natural order – the force that surrounds us, flows through us, and bids us together, is relying on Cheryl being right.
Cheryl was discussing the ins and outs of defensive tactics, when I made a decidedly smart assed remark…
There is a term of feline persuasion, used as a form of derision, which is used almost exclusively to describe the hirsute sex. I willingly submit that this entry paints a bull’s eye on my back.
I have a rash. Now there’s a good time waiting to happen. Throw in a little fever and it’s a real party. Toss in a wife with a proclivity for hypochondria, and you’ve got an off…
I was at work and struck by the hour: noon already? On a whim I begged off early, promising to make up the time later (a line borrowed from the procrastinator’s creed). This whim eventually brought me to my daughter’s school, just as her and her like were being released for the day. She wasn’t expecting me, and didn’t notice when I fell into step behind her, stride for…
I find it hard to describe or pin it down to any particular part of my body, but it is most definitely there. Not so much now; but even little reminders tweak the senses. It can be a song on the radio, a movie on the tube, or my personal favorite, a well crafted work of fiction in the written word.
The founding documents of our democracy talk of certain truths being self evident, but they…
Have I written about our Diaper Genie before? It’s too late and I’m too tired to care. It’s writin’ time. Don’t make me go Old Testament on yo’ ass!
I’m happy to announce that we’ve graduated to the stage 2 Diaper Genie liners. We’re so proud. To recap, the Diaper Genie is a sophisticated device for making diaper sausage links. They sell…
It starts with 1066. You may not know this, but 1066 represents the average monthly income of someone who works full time and earns the minimum wage – as defined by the newly amended Florida Constitution. What you may not know is that 1066 also represents the year of the Norman conquest of England, the last time England was conquered by a foreign army – consummated at the Battle of…
We’ve done the theme park thing twice now, in the last two weeks. On both occasions I eschewed my digital still camera in favor of my digital video camera. I felt I was duty bound to find some value in this new toy I’ve wanted for so long. The thing is; I couldn’t seem to shoot a scene without noting silently to myself that I was passing up a good shot with the still camera. I…