What a perfectly awful day the hump day has become. Why do I tremble when other men rejoice? It’s all in the timing. The Wednesday schedule puts me in my home, ready to relax, at the one hour ’til bedtime mark. What, pray tell, can I do with a lousy hour? In the adult scheme of things, one hour is about as useful as one dollar, one square of toilet paper, or one shoe. I spent ten…
Here’s my list of the world’s largest bureaucracies, listed in order from biggest to smallest: the U.N., the U.S. health care industry (lumping providers and insurers together), the old Soviet Union, and the Federal Government. Feel free to quibble with my order – I’m not married to it – but you’ve got to admit that they all deserve to be on the list. Today I…
What’s not to love about an eraser that can stand easily on six different sides? What about a mouse pad that sees duty only as an iPod throne? Or a stack of recycled Post-It notes, tastefully arranged in a spiral pattern on your desk? Or a well used cardboard box top that serves double duty as a used paperclip receptacle AND a target for flinging paperclips across the office. What about that…
It has been a month since I resolved to eat better, exercise more, and live well.
It has been a month since my last carbonated beverage.
I’ve only been to Starbucks three times (maybe four, tops).
I popped a Walgreens caffeine supplement once, but I REALLY needed it.
The occasional side trip to Starbucks aside, I’ve limited by beverage intake to water and unsweetened, decaffeinated tea…
Cheryl was standing over my shoulder the other night (no small feat, considering her height), and noticed that I was having a hard time. Don’t you just love it when a loved one notes your difficulties without lending a helping hand?
I replied, “If we weren’t wrestling outside of our weight class, I’d never get this (diaper) on him.”
Ladies and Gentlemen: Greco-roman…
I have this dream where an anonymous Democratic candidate for president responds to his opponent’s charge that he’ll “raise your taxes.”
“Ladies and gentlement, my opponent would have you believe that, if I’m elected, I’m going to raise your taxes. Folks, it seems to me that somebody’s fallen off the wagon. As much as I hate to admit it, the…
Yesterday morning I got a call on my cell phone. It was my mother-in-law calling from my house, where she was watching Beth and making sure she got off to school. She wanted me to talk to my daughter about her suspiciously sudden illness (right before it was time to leave for school).
I talked to Beth for about ten minutes and convinced her that staying home sick wouldn’t be much fun (I…