Just what I need to admit, Cheryl will be so proud, every man, woman and child will be impressed,
I didn’t take a shower today.
No, I’m not playing semantics. I didn’t take a bath either. I didn’t swab down with wet wipes. I didn’t take a sponge bath. I didn’t take a spit bath, a la the common house cat. I did nothing whatsoever to improve my outward cleanliness…
If you decide to vote this November (I’m talking to you, 49%), you’ll be asked to make a decision about gambling. Yes, gambling rears it’s ugly face in Florida politics once again this year. This time, pro-gambling forces are making a play for a foot in the door – rather than the heretofore-unsuccessful full frontal assault.
Here’s the ballot language (courtesy of…
Who among you knew that I was a great husband? Lest you doubt me, I have proof. Today I was in the maternity store in the mall buying nursing bras for my wife. If that were not proof enough, listen to this,
I had several intelligent questions for the clerk regarding size and style, and I knew the correct responses regarding nursing pads (not disposable, white, no lace). It was a small shop and…
It was the second day of life for my second child. I was lying down on the “daddy cot” in my wife’s room at the hospital. My newborn child was lying on my chest, peacefully sleeping away the first hours of his life. A visitor was there and remarked, “these are the best days of Adam’s life.”
I have this terrible contrarian streak in me, so naturally my mind leapt…
At 1:38 p.m. a painful, yet blessedly brief chapter in Cheryl’s life came to a close. Adam Kauffman was born. After witnessing the pain, the fatigue, and the fear of childbirth, Adam’s emergence into our world brought tears to my eyes. To see a child being born is to see an epic struggle. In this case it was Cheryl versus the pain and the keeper of the painkillers. Cheryl ultimately…
Midnight is a good time for sleeping. It is a good time for the lights to be out and everyone to be tucked securely into a snug cocoon of warmth, the mind occupying itself only with the business of oblivion.
Of course, that was not to be my lot in life on this night.
Cheryl and I had been home from the hospital for all of twelve hours, and I had been asleep for a fraction of that, when Cheryl…
Realizing you have done more before 6 a.m. than you usually do all day is a sobering thought. Army recruiting adds not withstanding, it kind of makes me want to go out and fix the sobriety problem. Ah, but I’m a stimulant kind of guy. What use would I have for America’s Favorite Depressant?
Earlier this morning,
It was a mere five hours after I laid my head down to sleep when I had the…
Good afternoon boys and girls, my name is Mr. Kauffman and I’ll be your instructor in Advanced Driving Techniques. We’re going to jump right in this afternoon, but first I wanted to start you off with a little primer.
The most important, least understood, and most rewarding concept in advanced driving techniques is watching where you are going. That’s right – I’m…
Another weekend, another hurricane, ho hum. We once again found ourselves an island of electricity in a sea of powerlessness. We once again had some family and friends over to share our power, and generally had a good time. My good time was sponsored by Mikes Hard Limeade, the premium malt beverage with the refreshing taste of lime. Live hard. Drink Mike’s.
There’s nothing like a Bucs…
What is the worst thing that could happen at Starbucks? I found out today. I was looking to make use of my Starbucks card (a much appreciated thank you gift from one of my co-workers), so we stopped by there on our way home from Beth’s haircut. Well unless Chicago is on the way from Seattle to Los Angeles, I guess Starbucks was not exactly on the way, but what the hell. I could use a little…