The last remaining vestiges of the great family room flood are gone. Forty or so square feet of carpet and padding is gone. In it’s place rests brand new, self adhesive, square, fake ceramic, laminate tile. Yes, it is everything it sounds like and more. No, there is no danger of my becoming the spokesperson for Armstrong laminate tile.
In a move that was designed solely to shock my wife, I…
The other night Beth was coming out of the bathroom with her towel wrapped tightly around her chest. This new found modesty was a little refreshing, so of course we had to say something about it. Beth’s reply was a little odd: “I don’t want anyone to see my nickels.”
“NICKELS? What are you doing with nickels under your towel?” I replied.
“What…
Driving a car on the road is a little too impersonal. We know, in theory, that there are people in the other cars, but it is a little too abstract for our own good. We drive around in shells of our personality. The model, general upkeep, and decoration all speak to how we view ourselves. Yet to others on the road it is still just another car; little more than an obstacle between us and where we…
Those entry headings still don’t necessarily mean anything.
Just so you know, I am the peak flow champion! That’s right baby. Makes me feel kind of silly, talking about feeling a little short of breath. What is a peak flow? Do you really want to know? Take a deep breath and exhale as quickly and completely as possible. Now measure the flow of air at the peak of your blow. Fascinating…
Whence the death watch concludes, I’m on my way to nail down tack strips. You too can enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes from hammering a wood strip into concrete. Think of the aggression you can work out. Think of the cathartic value. Think of how many more ways I can think of to say the exact same thing. If you missed the trimming of wet carpet you won’t want to miss tack…
Quirky is a word that describes one of my sisters friends from high school. Come to think of it, quirky describes most of her friends from high school. It’s difficult to see your little sisters as serious people, let alone their friends.
So I was on the death watch at my allergist when one of her friends came in with his daughter. Imagine my surprise, seeing this young turk from my past…
It was necessary to drive my newish car to work this morning. I haven’t driven it for the better part of two weeks, so it was quite the event. My enthusiasm was tempered by the good natured ribbing I got from my coworkers.
“John, your daughter’s too young to drive. Why did you buy her a car already?”
“John, you’ve got a car just like my neighbor’s sixteen…
One of my last entries has prompted a small discussion about inherited genes. Maybe discussion is the wrong word… that is, if you can call two email messages a discussion (one for each participant). This led to my own musing. (When was the last time you used “muse” as a verb?) I feel that I provide an important service to my readers: pointing out the obvious. In that light…
Post plumbing woe life in the Kauffman household (version 2.2) continues. The fan is still blowing on a wall. What, don’t you have a fan blowing on your walls? A single sample of tile is resting in a large space where there used to be wet carpet. Four boxes of laminate, self adhesive tile are waiting patiently in our family room.
I have garnered just about as much respect from my previous…