But speaking of twentieth anniversaries, I thought I’d let you all know that I’ve successfully installed and booted OS 9.0.4 on the Twentieth Anniversary Mac at my office. I made a brief search through my disgustingly well organized software archive at home, and came up with my old version of iTunes (version 2) that plays nicely with OS 9 (sans OS 8 hack). I was positively glowing with glee, until a fellow state employee stopped by on a walkabout. Without greeting, he walks up to my side, leans over, looks at the front of the TAM, walks around my desk, takes a close look at the back, closely inspects the FM antenna sprouting from it’s hind quarters, and says “interesting,” before walking out.

You know how some folks say “interesting” with a tone and manner that suggests condescension? Has he no respect for his elders? Reduce, reuse and recycle man!

In the context of a computer repair manual, a procedure is described as “pretty difficult,” you should pretty much assume that this procedure is not for you – unless you make a living doing this kind of thing.

I’ve cracked the case on a computer or two in my day, but I’m strictly a novice. That’s why I had no business pulling the innards out of my recently obtained Twentieth Anniversary Mac.

The TAM is built like a laptop computer… space is at a premium, and you have to take lots of things out to get at some things. One such thing that requires major surgery is access to the built in speakers. You see, one of the speakers was suffering from distracting static. This apparently was a common problem on the TAM. Fortunately, the problem was well documented… and the fix was long ago worked out. I just had to take the whole thing apart, disconnect the speaker from the motherboard and clean the connection with a pencil eraser.

The bad news is I am a nervous wreak. The good news is I’m listening to a static free, Bose Acoustimas sound system on a slightly used TAM.

Now I’ve just got to upgrade the OS to 8.6, track down that hacked version of iTunes that runs on 8.6 (I’d swear I’ve got it around here somewhere), delete the new tuner apps and extensions that come w/ 8.6 (that cause volume control problems on the TAM), reinstall the old versions of the tuner apps from OS 7.6.1, track down the driver software for an old 32 bit Macsense PCI ethernet card, install it, and transfer a subset of my music collection to the 2GB HD on the TAM.

No sweat.

About 38 hours ago my wife wanted nothing to do with another old computer. In fact, I had to agree to dispose of my vintage, 1994 Macintosh Performa 577, to make room for my prized new addition to our little Mac Museum.

About 17 hours ago my wife walked into our family room and noticed the TV was on… on the computer screen. “How did you do that?” she asked. “Elementary, my dear Cheryl,” I replied, “behold… a computer with a television and FM tuner built-in.”

About 16 hours ago my wife walked into our family room and noticed music and diaphragm curling base… coming from this same computer. “Don’t tell me that’s coming from the computer too?” she asked. “Indubitably, my dear Cheryl,” I replied, “behold… a computer with a built-in Bose sound system, rounded out with a powered sub-woofer.”

About 15 hours ago my wife asked me the unfathomable, just two hours prior… “You aren’t really going to take that to work with you, are you? I think we ought to keep it here for the kids to use.”

Yeah, sure… for the kids to use….

My wife thinks I’ve finally lost my mind. My wife’s friend since high school agrees. Me? My heart is pitter-pattering like freshman invited to the senior prom. I got my hands on a piece of Macintosh Lore… a genuine Twentieth Anniversary Mac.

To the average layperson the Twentieth Anniversary Mac (TAM) is nothing but an eight-year-old computer. Weighing in with a 250MHz, 603e PPC processor w/ 32MB RAM, 2GB hard drive, 4x CD ROM, 800 x 600 12.1″ LCD, and a TV/FM tuner… the TAM is no longer state of the art. That, as they say, is not the point. It was released in May of 1997 and retailed for $7499. Apple made around 12,000 TAMs. That is partially the point.

Imagine you really wanted something as a child… say a really expensive toy… but as a child it was unattainable. As an adult, wouldn’t you be a little curious to see what you were missing if someone gave you that toy for free?

It may be eight years later, but I still like to play.

“Cats and dogs, living together, mass-hysteria!”
– Bill Murray, Ghostbusters

97.5% of the folks out there who bought a PC this year won’t care one whiff about this – but what do they know anyway? First, there was the Macintosh. Then, there was Wintel. Now (or in 2006 anyway) there is Macintel. This is just like finding out Darth Vader was Luke’s father. There’s a great disturbance in the force.

Sure, the sun will rise in the morning, but what will it be shining on – the bastard child of good and evil? After years of toiling in a Betamax wilderness, will Apple find greater success with a less elegant, but more common and cheaper VHS? We few – we merry enlightened few – what will happen to us? Will Rosetta be more rose or rube? Will my next computer purchase bring a wave of necessary software upgrades? Maybe Luke will unmask Vader in the end and find out he can be saved – that the goodness in him can prevail.