Beth

The good stuff

I want to say publicly that I am proud of my daughter. A short time ago she got her first report card of the ‘big kid era.’ I was her first report card on the A – F grading scale, and therefore her first opportunity to make the honor roll – which she made. Then last week I picked her up from Tae Kwon Do and caught the tail end of her lesson. She had been one of three…
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Beth

Shaken, not stirred

I am disappointed in Beth’s school. A week ago we were filling out a permission slip for Beth to go on a field trip. A trip to Ruth Eckerd Hall is routine around these parts, so I thought nothing of it. However, when I signed the slip waiving any potential claims of liability against the school I had no idea Beth was going to be exposed to the Damn Yankees. No, I’m not talking about…
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Beth

The daughter of all deathwatches

I was sitting with Beth at the allergist’s office, helping her with her “gifted” homework. In the span of a 20-minute shot watch we discussed mid-term elections, the separation of powers, the merits of a bi-camel legislature, term limits, and the unique nature of prime numbers. Throughout this light conversation I stole a few glances at the folks sharing the waiting room with…
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Beth

The right tool for the job

The raison d’etre for childhood is learning. Much of that learning is done by trial and error. Sometimes it feels like the raison d’etre for parents is to point out the error in childhood trials. Take yesterday evening (please?). Twenty minutes before bedtime our kids voiced unanimous desire for an apple. They spent the better part of that twenty minutes sitting in the hallway with…
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BethSports

Tween time

I am stuck in that moment between getting home late and the time when you feel like going to bed. We decided to go to a Devil Rays away game this evening, and we’re just getting back. They were at Tropicana Field, where they occasionally play home games, so we didn’t have to travel too far. Tonight’s benefactor of the ice cold Rays’ bats were the Indians from Cleveland; and…
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BethPoliticsThe Sunshine State

A farewell to freedom

July, we hardly knew thee. In less than one week’s time, Beth will join thousands of school age children in the annual event known as “the first day of school.” Like years past, it will be a time of sorrow in The Kauffman Household (version 2.2.1). As many of you know, the school year starts really freaking early in parts of Florida. If you think we’ve got it bad, our…
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Beth

How do you spell relief?

Our new to nine daughter was conversing with her mother when the topic turned to dinner. (This was last night, by the way.) MOTHER: “Would you like something to eat for dinner Beth?” BETH: “No thanks.” MOTHER: “Are you sure? Not even a little something from the freezer?” BETH: “No, no thanks. If I eat anything else I’ll feel bloated.” FATHER…
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Beth

Family night

I still have the capacity to be surprised. I tend to take a lot for granted, so my continuing capacity to be surprised… is… well… a surprise. This dual layer of surprise struck me last night, at the Dunedin Rec Family Night. I was skeptical when Beth approached her camp leader to ask for an extra treat, for something that she could give to her brother. I didn’t say anything…
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Beth

Follow that?

After yesterday afternoon’s pilot episode of “Beth gets shot” I was expecting to have an epic tale of medical adventure to tell. Alas dear reader, all went well. On the ride over I broke the news… she was starting allergy shots. As expected, it went over like a helium filled cement truck (it might be a little lighter on its feet but it still don’t fly). I nipped the…
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Beth

Squirm like your life depended on it

Have you ever seen a scene in a movie like this? Bad guy number 1 is holding down a good guy from behind, while bad guy number two is slowly approaching with a glowing hot poker (or some other glowing hot instrument at the end of a long handle). If the good guy is not a “tough guy,” the scene usually involves some violent struggling (to get free) as B.G. 2 gets close. A strikingly…
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