I was reaching for the sweet nectar of life (another shot of caffeine please), when something gave me pause. It was my stomach. My stomach was telling me that it wanted something to eat – to ease the strain of another caffeine infusion. So I went into my desk drawer, to root through my personal cache wholesome snacks. Ah, but sitting right there next to my crackers was the initial source of…
(Spare bathroom, Kauffman Household v2.3) Your tour guide through the psyche of a middle-class everyman, and the undisputed master of his domain, was studying his profile in the bathroom mirror this evening when he made an astounding discovery. Weight gain can change the shape of the human head; and with this change in shape, the eyes can be made to look closer together.
U.S. Airways is offering…
I was listening to NPR on my way home yesterday and I heard the most interesting observation. It was a listener’s comment on a previous story about cell phones, and their impact on society. The listener was a blind man, and he commented that the use of cell phones in public has lead to some confused blind folks. Prior to cell phones, a blind person could safely assume someone was talking to…
It is nearing the end of the work day and a coworker has one last question before they walk out the door. You are seated at your desk trying to think of something profound, but your enthusiasm for life crests and you get a little jiggy. (There’s music in the background, and it is almost quitting time.) Your coworker gives you a look which is a confused mix of pity and amusement; like…
On this weekend eve I am conflicted. There is the obvious, inherent “goodness” that surrounds the end of the workweek. It doesn’t take a minimum wage job slinging hash at the local fast-frozen-and-fried joint to appreciate a Friday. My problem lies in what hazards lay in my path to the Fair Labor Standard’s promised land. I could put a name to this hazard, but I would…
My mind is a blank slate. I had opened up my trusty PowerBook and launched my word processor of choice. I was just about to start typing a magnificent entry, when Software Update worked it’s weekly magic. For the 95% of the world that is not familiar with the Mac OS (we members of the Kauffman Clan hold no grudge against you – only pity), Software Update is a piece of Apple magic that…
It’s a noun that means “the last emission of breath,” or “the act or process of releasing air from the lungs through the nose or mouth.”
But that’s not important right now.
More importantly, you probably already knew that.
Most importantly, I’m interested in the fourth definition offered by Merriam and Webster: “the date after which a product should…
Faced with several hours of free time, post prime-time, I had several choices with which to fill my time.
1. Pick a chore, any chore.
2. Watch a Netflix movie.
3. Read a book.
4. Get a little more value out of our Bright House Networks subscription (our local cable company).
5. Bring down a perfectly good server, configure a new one, try out new software, bring it online after four hours of…
Well folks, the office water cooler chit chat round these parts has uncovered the root cause of all problems with politics in this country: too many layers of clothing.
Forget about olive branches, “reaching across the isle”, faux civility, and honest debate on the issues via sound byte. What we really want to see in Washington is a Capital Dress Down Day. If they want to connect with…
Our neighbors are trying to make us look bad. They did the unthinkable, they planted sod. Making matters worse, they installed a sprinkler system. Even worse yet, their sprinklers water a sizable chunk of our yard too.
BASTARDS!
Just as I was starting to relish the coming of the annual November die-off, our neighbors go and put the side of our “lawn” on life support.
I was discussing…