Do I have faults? Do I do and say stupid things? Does a newborn baby cry in the middle of the night? Do I have funny looking toes?
As Beth and her peer group might say, “Duh?”
One of the most rewarding means of compensating for our faults is pointing them out in others. In that vein, let me tell you about Cheryl, and the great egg debate. As it turns out, Cheryl fancies herself the…
An excellent indicator that Boston is in the World Series is my inability to adjust the time on my Seiko. Due to a nervous, disturbingly cannibalistic habit, I have an insufficient collection of rigid tissue at the end of my fingers to pry out that wicked small knob on the side of my watch. Not having “mother nature’s screwdriver” handy at a moment’s notice is terribly…
In the south…
I have it on good authority that if John Kerry is elected president, kids will have to go to school on Saturdays and Sundays, and they will only have brussel sprouts and cabbage for lunch in the cafeteria.
George Bush, on the other hand, has the courage to take on the liberal school boards. He has the backbone to take on the vegan lobby. He has the strength of character to stay…
As expected, I’m getting less sleep now than I was before Adam was born. Once again I’ve descended into the realm of the obvious. More importantly, I’m back at work for the first time since Adam was born, and I couldn’t be more alert if someone gave me a swift kick in the head.
Pity the man that comes between me and the sweet nectar of life when I’m operating on less…
Lest you worry that things have settled into a carefree routine here at the Kauffman Household (v. 2.2.1), I have reports of a new and terrifying phenomenon discovered just this morning: projectile poop. I think the name speaks for itself, so I won’t further trouble your imagination with the details. Suffice it to say that it was a horrible mess, one that found your hero facing the business…
The last three weeks have been just about the best. There have been a few hiccups, but spending this time with my wife, my daughter and my newborn son have been precious. Last night I was trying to get my dinner started, Cheryl was asleep, and Adam started to cry. Beth came up to me and said, “Dad, let me hold Adam while you get your dinner, I’ll make him feel better.” I was…
It is ten a.m. and I have just woken from seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. I went from deep sleep to fully awake in the blink of an eye (two of them actually). Why? Because I must live through another game seven tonight. There are ten hours until the first pitch and already I’m worried. This is what it means to be a Red Sox fan, even if baseball isn’t my favorite spectator sport. It…