Do you ever have those days when your fuse is short, your patience is thinner than a sheet of tracing paper, the world is conspiring against you, and your fingers are numb from taking it all out on your keyboard? Have you ever arrived at this point without knowing why you need catharsis more than Pat Robertson stuck at a gay pride rally?
Deep, cleansing breath,
Yo, word.
(If pressed, the author…
Two bagels with margarine, a glass of fruit punch flavored Gatorade, a Twix candy bar, and a Walgreen’s caffeine supplement? You call that breakfast? I’m not completely helpless down here you know. You’re going to start getting this breakfast thing right or there’s going to be hell to pay. What, you need some convincing? Don’t make me come back up there. You keep…
It’s been a productive day thus far, and it’s time for a little ‘thank me very much.’ There is a red metallic cylinder sitting on my desk that is looking awfully good right now. It’s really not appropriate for the office, but it’s just too tempting to ignore. It’s not really good for me, but when did that ever stop me? The door to my office is closed, to…
I’ll bet that one day ‘low-carb’ will be classified as an eating disorder. Anyone want to take that bet?
Can it cause in insufficient food intake?
Check.
Can it cause long term health problems?
Tentative check.
Will people ignore these factors in favor of being thin?
Are you kidding me?
Anyone willing to partake in the ‘new bike for John’ initiative is welcome to…
“This is going to hurt me more than it’s going to hurt you.” If you’ve been following my recent adventures, you know that I was talking to my poor iBook, just before I left it at the shop for repairs.
I feel guilty. I feel lonely. Most importantly, I feel bored. My five year old, Bondi Blue, original iMac hasn’t seen this much action since, well, I bought a new iBook…
Riding a bicycle to work during the rainy season in Florida is like rolling the dice and betting on a number between one and twelve. Here’s my summer forecast: there’s a 100% chance that I’m going to get awfully wet. There are two ways to accomplish this feat of aquatic proportions. One, engage your body’s temperature regulation system; or two, ride home in an afternoon…
They say you can never go home again. But what if you never left?
Things change. Jobs evolve and responsibilities are added. Streets widen. Landmarks are bulldozed and new ones take their place. People get older. Belongings accumulate, break, and get replaced. Friends find new opportunities and move away. New friends are made. Relatives pass away. Children are born. Coworkers move on to new…
This is a story of a man whose adventures will one day be remembered in song. This is the story of John, of the suburban warrior clan Kauffman.
“Yeah, though he walks through the shadows of the valley of Beth, he shall fear no tantrum.”
“Neither early hour, lack of sleep, looming holiday, nor foul taste of breath, shall keep him from his appointed rounds.”
“Sick to…
I was recruited to serve on a secret task force within the Central Intelligence Agency. I was asked to join before I knew exactly what I was agreeing to, but I did so anyway. All I knew was that I would have to quit my job with the State of Florida. No problem, or so I thought. I was immediately whisked away to an office building. There was a comfortable looking couch inside and I was told to lie…