Category: Wellbeing

Have you heard that the color of your phlegm has absolutely nothing to do with what type of infection you have (viral versus bacterial)? MInd you, I don’t really know if this is true. I just heard it somewhere.

Did you know that if you cough hard enough you can collapse a lung? Yeah, now I’m just making stuff up.

Have you ever coughed long and hard enough to give yourself one mother of a headache?

Have you ever taken a good look at your phlegm?

Do foods with artificial colors contaminate the specimen?

Do you prefer the word “phlegm” or “ejecta”?

Since we’re making this multiple choice, do you prefer “none of the above”?

Did you know that the easiest way to get an elementary school age child to laugh is to work in a reference to phlegm or one of it’s close relatives? (I’ve found that the nasal variety is the most reliable.)

Excuse me while I fetch my over the counter pain reliever.

Well, it’s kind of hard to describe. Have you ever taken a blow to the head? Do you know that dizzy, spaced out feeling you get just before you start to feel the pain? Yeah, I don’t know either, I just made all of that stuff up. I’m not real big on taking head shots.

Do you know what it feels like when you start to get a bit of post nasal drip down the back of your throat? You know, when you feel a little head cold coming on, and you have that distinctive, “I’m getting a cold” taste in your mouth? Soon your voice starts to downshift to Barry White. Before you know it, you’re sitting up at night to avoid some serious nasal congestion. JUST DRAIN BABY, DRAIN!

So what is the “chemical age”? You weren’t here to ask the question, so I’ll ask it for you. Every time has an “age”. Stone, bronze, et al. – you get the picture. So why the chemical age? Hell, I don’t know. It sounded good when I first wrote it. Now…? Not so much.

It’s time for another “Wal-Act”. And don’t you just love those incredibly clever knock off names for the knock off drugs. From the makers of “Wal-fed” and “Wal-dryl”, it’s “Wal-Act”. I’m just hoping the “Wal-Act” will knock me out. If I don’t stop typing soon, you’ll wish the same thing. So what did they do before “Wal-Act”. They paid twice as much for Actifed, that’s what. No, what I meant was, what did people do before they could rely on the active ingredient in “Wal-Act” to wash and dry their sinuses? I don’t know, but I wouldn’t want to have lived then, that’s for sure. Welcome to brothers and sisters to the chemical age!

It’s safe to say those precious active ingredients are kicking in, so I’ll kick off my shoes and…

A low wattage cold. One dose of cold medication. A recipe for relaxation in the chemical age.

I just hope the cold doesn’t get worse. That’d put a damper on my trip, man.

It’s past my bedtime on a work night and I’m still awake; a perfect time to grab my handy-dandy iBook and let my fingers do some talking. I would really like to share some good advise I got from a friend, the only problem is said friend makes up half of my readership. Oh hell, if it benefits even one person it will all be worth while. Of course that’s the best I could hope to do, but I won’t dwell on that right now.

A while back I was having a problem at work. It wasn’t a big problem, just something that was nagging at me. I was having a bit of a communication problem. I know what you are thinking: me, the great communicator, having problems vocalizing? Surely you’re more likely to catch Rush Limbaugh with a nasty drug problem, right? (O.K., that was admittedly a low blow. While it is never funny to see someone suffer, this “commie liberal” still finds it terribly ironic.) But I digress…

The advise involved making an effort to connect with people on a regular basis, perhaps simply making it a point to touch bases with everyone each morning. It seems to be paying dividends. There are folks I work with who will never be my best friend, but it’s nice to work in a place where everyone can talk, where everyone is approachable. The key for me has been making the effort to approach on a regular basis, not just when I need to discuss a problem.

It’s funny how obvious solutions can sometimes be so evasive.

Rare circumstances serve as the context for this entry. Both of my regular readers know all about the death watch at the allergist’s office. Well, for the first time in the history of this modest web site, an entry is coming to you live from home – immediately after an allergist visit. But wait, it gets even better. For the first time in the short history of Kauffman household (version 2.0) allergist visits, I return from a death watch to an empty house. The stereo is playing at “by myself” levels. I sit perched on the couch, with nothing to do. Every item on the nightly “to do” list is either done or can’t be started without “the daughter”. The tragedy in all of this is: I want to do something productive. I know myself relatively well, and I know these feelings are fleeting; not to mention relatively rare. It’s like I’m all dressed up with nowhere to go. I even took the desperation lap around the house, looking for something to do. The hamper is empty, the house is clean, and the computers are in good working order.

Ah… there it goes. I feel the need to work leeching out through my body and flowing into the soft, comfortable confines of the living room couch.

Oh look, here comes Cheryl’s car.

I was lying in bed, minding my own business, when my mind played a cruel joke on me. I was plagued by an idea for writing. As I lay in bed trying to sleep, I wondered if I would remember the idea the next morning. So troubled was I, fearing that I would forget, that I could not fall asleep. I trudged out to the living room to retrieve my laptop and settled into bed with thoughts of getting these ideas out of my head and into the ether. How foolish was I?

After spending several minutes with idle fingers resting on the keys, I give you this. It is not what I originally meant to write. Those thoughts may forever be trapped in the dark recesses of my mind. Fear not however, for they will have plenty of company.

Do you fear “different”? Is “new and improved” a reason for skepticism? I myself am guilty as charged, on occasion. Yesterday, I got to face my fears – at work no less. Working offsite, I was exposed to twenty minutes of shear boredom, followed by 20 seconds of sprinting down the courthouse hallway. This was the pattern for the entire day, though I must admit that it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it would be.

Did you know that if you are in really poor condition, it is possible to elevate your heart rate with extremely short bursts of activity?

How many times have you gone over to someone else’s home and popped your shoes off, plopped down on the couch, laid your head on a pillow, and walked your bare feet up the wall behind the couch? Me neither, but wouldn’t it be fun to do just once?

Sidebar: how many of you can type with your feet above your head? When Cheryl gets home she will be so proud!

There can be no joy without despair, no love without hate, no laughter without tears. It is a given that there will be good times and bad times. There will always be a crest to any wave of contentment, and the ride to bottom can be sudden and swift. Sometimes all you can do is find solace in the fact that there will always be another wave.