I’ve got a New Year’s Resolution that can’t wait for the New Year. I’m positively giddy with anticipation. I resolve to make the word “rhinorrhea” part of my regular vocabulary. I’m not convinced it’s a real word (it’s just too good to be true), but that hasn’t stopped me before and it isn’t going to stop me now.
I can’t wait until that first time, when I unleash my secret…
Families with school age children live in perpetual fear of a runny nose. One day your child comes home with twin glowing stripes running from nose to lip, the next your house resembles a scene from a bio-medical thriller. People lay around the house listless in their extended wear PJs with the remnants of a box of Kleenex scattered around a nearby trash can like an electron cloud.
Last night Adam…
Monday marked yet another first day. This time it was Adam’s turn. Adam was at a day care center for the first time Monday morning. If you’re unfamiliar with having children and using day care centers… the first day is often one of the first times you feel like a failure as a parent.
He cried when Cheryl dropped him off, he was playing when she picked him up, and he seemed emotionally intact…
I seem to have misplaced last week. I had it right here, but I don’t know what I did with it.
Upon further review, it may be more accurate to say it was taken from me. First there was the start of the new school year, which was good for two and a half days. Then there was court coverage, which was good for a couple more days. Throw in a thrown out back to cover the weekend and I find myself…
“John! You cut me off!”
The set up:
Cheryl and I are side by side at the medicine cabinet. I am on the right, Cheryl to the left. We reach for the Costco size bottle of anti-histamine (approximately a 36 month supply) at around the same time. My hand reaches the bottle first, prompting Cheryl’s accusation of foul play.
My conclusion:
Because we were both standing in front of the medicine…
On second thought, I’m a tad tired for poetry. This will have to do.
This past week was a bit sad for a couple different reasons. Nothing cataclysmic mind you, just run-of-the-mill melancholy. The most obvious reason was Beth’s forthcoming return to school. Beth had a hard year last year and I hoped (not just for my sake) that this year would be better. But the end of summer vacation was…
I feel really bad for you. You see this is the second time I’ve written this entry. The first version was a real hoot… and I guess it still is, safely tucked away on my computer at work. I jotted down a rough draft on break, then proceeded to get busy as all get out… prompting it to get forgotten. I’m slated to be away from my office until next week, and I hate to let you go that long…
If Cheryl and I ever renew our wedding vows, I’d like to include something regarding our Netflix Que. One of the most reliable weekend buzz kills ’round these parts is a movie in the mail from Cheryl’s pickings. Friends, I almost had to leave the house when she popped in that Steven Segal flick.
I still shudder at the thought…
Lately, I’ve been pretty good at que maintenece; shuffling…
July, we hardly knew thee. In less than one week’s time, Beth will join thousands of school age children in the annual event known as “the first day of school.” Like years past, it will be a time of sorrow in The Kauffman Household (version 2.2.1).
As many of you know, the school year starts really freaking early in parts of Florida. If you think we’ve got it bad, our neighboring county is…
Disclaimer: I’m not a jewelry guy. I own one piece: a simple, unadorned wedding band.
I must confess to a weakness: I can’t help but draw prejudicial conclusions about people who wear more rings than fingers. Pray tell dear reader: are these people compensating for something? I see some old ladies with more rocks than a natural history museum, and I wonder…. Does it prevent you from walking…