When you have one child you are asked to play. When you have two children you are asked to mediate property disputes. Earlier today the property in dispute was none other than yours truly. I was sitting on the couch, minding my own business, when Beth yells, “DADDY!” and proceeds to leap into my lap. Not to be out done, Adam dives at me like a Japanese fighter plane, with seemingly…
I don’t need permission from my wife to spend five dollars, but for some reason I felt compelled to tell her anyway.
“John, you don’t need my permission to spend five dollars,” she replies.
“I know, I thought I would extend you the courtesy of asking anyway.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my husband?”
“We’ve taken him someplace…
There’s something you should know about the week I’m having. I’m happy to report that all systems are functioning. The eldest of my progeny has been getting up in the morning and getting ready for school, which may seem trivial, but is actuality no small feat. Actually, it’s not unlike an 18, extra wide… something with a hard, slippery sole if you have it. The…
My latest obsession is genealogy. It all started with the Mormons. Now there’s a sentence you don’t hear every day.
A search for “genealogy” on Google will bring you to the Church of Later Day Saints with greater reliability “polygamy.” (What’s this world coming to?) So I hung out with the Mormons for a while. I found a couple interesting snippets of…
The litany of my errors goes something like this…
Monday. I forget my magic (coffee beans) at home.
Tuesday. I forget my lucky (coffee) mug at home.
Wednesday. I forget my faithful (coffee bean) grinder at home.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned.
Wednesday morning I was standing (barely) in a coworker’s office, offering sage advice on matters pertaining to work, when I could not…
Putting a label or some kind of mark on one of them would have been much too simple. No, the best way to tell the difference between the two outwardly identical computers was to put the one that didn’t work away. If you’re just keeping something for parts, you don’t need to keep it handy. Leave the one that works out on the floor of the family room – where it’s easy…
On evenings past I have stumbled around in the dark looking for a flashlight that mysteriously wasn’t there. On these dark, perilous journeys through veritable minefields of wheeled children’s toys, I have wondered if the addictive effect of a flashlight on a child is similar to the effect of heroine. Sure, there are a few kinks to work out… like the fact that testing the theory…
Flush with my success slaying the dreaded speaker buzz in my recently obtained piece of Apple lore, I decided to once again hack into my dead iPod. (NURSE! GET ME SOME WOOD, STAT!) If you are keeping score, this is case cracking number four (a rhyme I just could not ignore). Without going into too much detail, this near blind foray into the jungle of high tech involved: opening a case not meant to…
I may be slaving away at work, but that’s no excuse for my trusty PowerBook to sit home alone, sleeping away the day in quiet oblivion. It’s here at the office with me, busily writing zeros to my (for the moment) resurrected iPod. Once it’s done with that it’s got a little reformatting to do… then a little matter of transferring eight gigabytes of data.
Between you…