I felt like a parent dropping their child off for the summer at camp. I decided that my iBook deserved a chance at a healthy life, so I dropped it off at my local repair shop for the old ‘once over.’ They said it could be a while before they could get to it, due to a bit of a back log.
I could almost see the look of betrayal on its cover as I left it there on the counter, at the mercy…
Once upon a time, there was a meeting in Clearwater. It was to be a glorious meeting between three government agencies, and the people who represent them. Anticipation ran rampant as more people filed into the room. Each side of the table came armed with enough ‘gotchas’ to destroy all of the egos in the room, five times over. One pregnant question hung in the room as the agreed upon…
Nothing brings the neighborhood together like a police chase. First, we heard the roar of engines as cars blew past our house (at the stop sign) at high speed. Next, we heard the doppler shift of sirens careening past. This repeated two more times, making us wonder if our house had suddenly been magically transported to Hell’s Kitchen. The gawker gang was out in full force, sharing…
This is a story of a man whose adventures will one day be remembered in song. This is the story of John, of the suburban warrior clan Kauffman.
“Yeah, though he walks through the shadows of the valley of Beth, he shall fear no tantrum.”
“Neither early hour, lack of sleep, looming holiday, nor foul taste of breath, shall keep him from his appointed rounds.”
“Sick to…
It started in the most unlikely of places; a peanut butter on wheat bread sandwich. All right, I’ll admit that wheat bread is a little suspect on it’s own (I’ll take my flour bleached and enriched, thank you very much!), but desperate times lead to hasty choices on the bread isle. In short (and with no further explanation), all I had was wheat bread to satisfy my hankering for a…
No, I was not dropped on my head as a child. What I want to know is what the word “nationalism” means to you. For me, “nationalism” means fanaticism, self-righteousness, and pharisaism. Where some see enthusiastic flag waving and patriotism, I see a tool to perpetuate some of the worst evils of the last two centuries. (Remember the holocaust?) Some will say that no such…
My house is on a bit of a hill. The front door is approximately four to six feet above street level. As a result, I rarely need reverse to pull out of my driveway. Even better, when my car is backed into the driveway, the driveway serves as a kind of launch pad.
My car is a wee bit smaller than my wife’s car. I drive a two door Civic Coupe. Cheryl drives an SUV. So on one side of my car…
I believe it was the great Deforest Kelly who once said, “we mock that which we don’t understand.” In the years since I first heard this quote I’ve added my own corollary, “we mock those whom we don’t know very well; or those whom we know really well and can take a joke.” Well, I was at an off-site meeting the other day. Since I didn’t know the…
I was recruited to serve on a secret task force within the Central Intelligence Agency. I was asked to join before I knew exactly what I was agreeing to, but I did so anyway. All I knew was that I would have to quit my job with the State of Florida. No problem, or so I thought. I was immediately whisked away to an office building. There was a comfortable looking couch inside and I was told to lie…
Ralph Nader has announced his candidacy for the office of Democratic Party presidential spoiler. He is running his campaign as the incumbent, and he is running unopposed. He has been asked repeatedly why he is running, and he has repeatedly denied he is running as a spoiler. Supposedly, he fancies himself the man “to bring the Democratic Party back to the left.” The message to his…