As expected, I’m getting less sleep now than I was before Adam was born. Once again I’ve descended into the realm of the obvious. More importantly, I’m back at work for the first time since Adam was born, and I couldn’t be more alert if someone gave me a swift kick in the head.
Pity the man that comes between me and the sweet nectar of life when I’m operating on less…
Lest you worry that things have settled into a carefree routine here at the Kauffman Household (v. 2.2.1), I have reports of a new and terrifying phenomenon discovered just this morning: projectile poop. I think the name speaks for itself, so I won’t further trouble your imagination with the details. Suffice it to say that it was a horrible mess, one that found your hero facing the business…
The last three weeks have been just about the best. There have been a few hiccups, but spending this time with my wife, my daughter and my newborn son have been precious. Last night I was trying to get my dinner started, Cheryl was asleep, and Adam started to cry. Beth came up to me and said, “Dad, let me hold Adam while you get your dinner, I’ll make him feel better.” I was…
I can’t get credit for nothing man! I went in for a blood test, came home, played chauffer for two hours (making lengthy stops at two different retail “super centers”), took my wife out to lunch, came home, carried in two hundred and fifty dollars worth of miscellaneous do-dads from Target, assembled two floor lamps (twenty minutes each), cleaned up the mess from each box…
I like to think I’m a decent enough guy, but my wife doesn’t call me the sultan of sloth for nothing. My history of drawn out, delayed, and down right ignored projects has reached legendary proportions (if only more people knew about it). So today Cheryl had a baby shower. Like many things in my life, it wasn’t exactly timely, but it’s the thought that counts. Who knew Adam…
Last night I wrote an entry about shaving. It was very late. This morning I woke up and said good morning to my wife and children. The first words out of my wife’s mouth were not “good morning”, but rather, “you are shaving for my shower.”
So I shaved. Some things are just not worth the effort. And seeings how the scrub was the product of sloth, we all know I…
I’ve been going for a new look lately. You see, Cheryl has been away from the office for a good while now, so I thought I would try to make her feel at work. I’m cultivating an “I’m on felony probation” look. It’s rather easy. You don’t shave, you put yourself on the 48 hour hygiene plan, and all systems are go!
What surprises me the most is that she…
Who among you knew that I was a great husband? Lest you doubt me, I have proof. Today I was in the maternity store in the mall buying nursing bras for my wife. If that were not proof enough, listen to this,
I had several intelligent questions for the clerk regarding size and style, and I knew the correct responses regarding nursing pads (not disposable, white, no lace). It was a small shop and…
It was the second day of life for my second child. I was lying down on the “daddy cot” in my wife’s room at the hospital. My newborn child was lying on my chest, peacefully sleeping away the first hours of his life. A visitor was there and remarked, “these are the best days of Adam’s life.”
I have this terrible contrarian streak in me, so naturally my mind leapt…