Category: Wellbeing

At what point does an HMO become more expensive than a PPO? My employer’s PPO plan charges co-pays for doctor’s visits and prescription drugs. They charge a percentage of contracted expenses for other medical services, up to a yearly maximum – after which they cover 100%. The HMO charges co-pays for doctor’s visits, drugs, and hospital stays. It doesn’t charge anything for other medical services, but the devil is in the “pre-authorization”.

The catch is that recently the PPO co-pays have been cheaper than the HMO co-pays. The lesson here is that you can see a doctor and get drugged up on the cheap with the PPO, so long as you stay away from the other services. Who would have thunk it? On the other hand, the HMO doesn’t really want to pay for the other services either, so what you don’t pay in money you pay in sweat equity. Can you say “I want to speak to your supervisor?” How about “letter of appeal?” Maybe “state board review?” If you can’t, you have no business being in an HMO.

When is open enrollment again?

Does it make you angry that you could have been reading something else all this time?

There once was a movie about fish that wasn’t really about fish. It was called Fish! It was the story of a fish market where people really love to work and want to tell others about it. They have fun, they are there for others, they choose their attitude, and one other thing that I can’t immediately recall. All I can say is it is a lot easier to choose your attitude when someone isn’t reading over your shoulder in a doctor’s office. Five empty chairs and you have to get close and take one of my armrests? Hello… personal space?

Ah, the joy of passive aggressiveness!

Ah, but what happens when passive aggressiveness fails you? Do you downshift into… what exactly? Engrossed in your work, you shoot for the tried and true method of pretending you are alone (aka the art of ignoring). But what if that doesn’t work either? The next thing you know the person next to you wants to show you something on your computer. You try to politely refuse, but your waiting room partner will not take no for an answer. Aren’t you reading over my shoulder? Don’t you know I’m being passive aggressive? It means I don’t really feel like talking right now. No, you don’t have to take it personally. If you were here to read my last entry you would know that my mind is mush, and I just need some solitary R & R. Oh, one more thing: that sign on the wall, the one that says “Please be considerate of our allergic patients by not wearing perfume or cologne”, that doesn’t mean you should soak your shirt in it right before you come. It’s an odd sign for an allergists office, isn’t it? Yes, that you can take personally.

You’re welcome.

Have you ever had someone approach you and say, “hey , how the heck are you! I haven’t seen you in ages. You haven’t changed a bit.” I don’t think anyone has ever said that to me. Hell, I look in the mirror and I wonder who it is on the other side. Just this evening I was gazing upon my mug wondering who the hell I am. When did my face get so thick? When did my forehead begin to look more like a washboard than my abs?** When did my nose begin to look better suited for a grocery store deli case than my face? When did I start keeping my hair so short?*** When did I stop thinking of myself primarily as someone’s son in favor of thinking of myself as someone’s father? When did I grow up?****

** I never had “washboard” abs.
*** When I got married.
**** Oh shut up Cheryl.

There will always be times where your roof springs a leak, your water heater lets loose an Old Testament flood, your child acts up in school, you don’t get that new job you wanted, your favorite computer dies, you can’t shake an awful cold, or Bob Villa decides your house isn’t good enough for him.

What does Bob Villa know anyway? He can take his crapy Craftsman socketless, adjustable wrench and go back to where ever he came from! And who’s to say This Old House would even have him back?

Here is where my job and the national news serve me well; they are a daily dose of perspective. My child has two caring parents. My family has a stable home life. My family likes to spend time together (sometimes). I don’t have to pay for heating oil. We’re not among the record breaking masses filing for bankruptcy (yet). My legs are killing me from that hard ride home. (How’d that one sneak in there?)

As I’ve mused before, bad things don’t necessarily bring greater good. Storm clouds don’t always have a silver lining. What’s important to me is that the rain doesn’t usually wash away all of the good stuff you had before. Now if we could just pay off that home equity loan…

Riding home from work, stiff wind at my back, I was flying. Everything was in harmony as the pedals spun in a high gear, yet no air was flowing past my ears. Traveling at twice the normal rate while pacing the wind almost defies explanation. The absence of wind noise draped the world in silence. Having to stop for a traffic signal seemed so wrong.

I get home and see the forecast for tomorrow morning: the same wind with the possibility of rain. As much as I liked the ride home, I don’t think I’ve ever hoped for rain as much as I do this evening… anything to give me an excuse not to ride against that same wind.

Those entry headings still don’t necessarily mean anything.

Just so you know, I am the peak flow champion! That’s right baby. Makes me feel kind of silly, talking about feeling a little short of breath. What is a peak flow? Do you really want to know? Take a deep breath and exhale as quickly and completely as possible. Now measure the flow of air at the peak of your blow. Fascinating stuff, isn’t it?

There are several people who can attest to this fact. In my days on this pebble in the sky I’ve done many things to prove my point. I’ve broken bones, walls and doors – and that’s not even counting the things I’ve done to myself. I’ve embarrassed others and myself with bad hairstyles and ridiculous clothes. I’ve walked the valleys of depression and soared where no sane man should go. I’ve thrown tantrums over mole hills and sat emotionless in the face of mountains. I’ve given my all at work and let the laundry pile up. I constantly pick my nails and forget to pick up my dry cleaning.

So why bring all of this up? Felling a bit of self pity are we?

No, not really.

I was just sitting on my couch after watching a movie with my bride, and I thought that I was lucky to have someone who loves me in spite of me. Aren’t we all?

Here’s a neat little trick I learned this evening while emptying the waste basket in our spare bathroom. First, find yourself a sharp corner. A counter top corner with a squared off edge is ideal. Second, and this is the tricky part, line up the sharp corner with the space between any two ribs on the side of your torso. For the best results, pick two ribs close to your arm pit. Finally, with your arm extended, back away from the corner several inches then lean back in quickly and firmly. If you have chosen two ribs close to your arm pit, make sure your arm is extended sufficiently to gain the maximum impact. You will know you have done it correctly if the pain takes your breath away for about ten to twenty seconds. Achieving this feat by accident is really something special, much like happening upon the rare “green flash” at sunset. The secret is arranging objects which must be frequently accessed “in the zone of opportunity”. If you have a toilet near a counter, you may want to consider placing a waste basket in between the two, as close to the back wall as possible. When emptying, be sure to place your feet directly in front of the cabinet, toes pointed towards the toilet. This arrangement will tend to line up the sweet spot nicely… when you reach across the top of the counter to get at the basket.

Hey, don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.

As a service to hypochondriacs everywhere, here is a list of conditions that list “cough” as a symptom. I am providing this service free of charge. You may notice that there are some repeats (is it necessary to list “Dust mite allergies” and “Allergies” separate?). Some are just plain vague (“Lung conditions”). Just keep in mind that this is not my list.

Acute Appendicitis, Acute Bronchitis, Adenoviruses, Allergic bronchopulmonary aspergillosis, Allergies, Alveolar Hydatid Disease, Asbestosis, Ascariasis, Asthma, Blastomycosis, Bronchiectasis, Bronchiolitis, Bronchitis, Bronchopulmonary dysplasia, Cancer, Carbon monoxide poisoning, Chemical pneumonia, Chlamydia pneumoniae, Chronic Bronchitis, Chronic Granulomatous Disease, Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease, Chronic Sinusitis, Coccidioidomycosis, Collapsed lung, Common cold, Croup, Cystic Fibrosis, Dengue hemorrhagic fever, Dilated cardiomyopathy, Dust mite allergies, Ehrlichiosis, Emphysema, Epiglotitis, Esophageal diverticulum, Esophagus Cancer, Familial emphysema, Fascioliasis, Flu, Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease, Goodpasture syndrome, Hay fever, Heart failure, High altitude pulmonary edema, Histoplasmosis, HIV/AIDS, Hookworm, Idiopathic Pulmonary Fibrosis, Larynx Cancer, Lassa fever, Legionnaires’ disease, Lung abscess, Lung cancer, Lung conditions, Lymphangioleiomyomatosis, Lymphocytic Choriomeningitis, Measles, Melioidosis, Mesothelioma, Mold allergies, Nocardiosis, Parainfluenza, Plague, Pneumococcal pneumonia, Pneumoconiosis, Pneumonia, Pneumonic plague, Pneumothorax, Psittacosis, Pulmonary edema, Pulmonary embolism, Pulmonary valve stenosis, Respiratory syncytial virus, Sarcoidosis, SARS, Schistosomiasis, Silicosis, Sinusitis, Slap-cheek syndrome, Strongyloidiasis, Tourette Syndrome, Toxocariasis, Tracheitis, Tuberculosis, Upper Respiratory Infection, Wegener’s granulomatosis, Whipple’s Disease, and Whooping Cough.

Are you feeling ill? Do you feel like you want to die? Just read the list. Maybe you really are.

(Source: http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/sym/cough.htm)