Today I am faced with a dilemma that has troubled men and women folk alike, and for as long as man and woman kind have processed wood pulp to replace those stone tablets. I’m having trouble turning pages with my dry hands.
The first, and simplest solution, would be to simply lick my fingers. Do I have to remind you about the bacteria levels in your average office? I know where my fingers…
It started innocently.
“Beth, I’m not sure you should ride your bike until I can tighten those training wheels, unless of course you want me to take them off?”
“Alright dad, take them off.”
Fifteen minutes later we were together on the sidewalk; father, daughter, and bicycle. The father was standing behind it all, grasping the seat. The daughter was astride the bike…
Me and good sense haven’t been on speaking terms since the whole diet thing started; and it’s too bad to, because I really could have used her advice last night. It was six o’clock and I was preparing for a hair appointment that I was about to be late for. I was rooting through the pantry looking for something both quick and nutritional to snack on in the car. It’s too bad…
Let’s start with the premise that people are stupid and work backwards from there. On my way to work I had a lot of time to think. That’s what happens when I ride my bike, lots of time to think. This morning I was playing the role of sore loser. Yes, I was thinking about politics again. A lot of ink has been used to discuss the “moral majority” and it’s role in last…
O.K., I admit the whole “no caffeine at work” thing was crap. Sleep deprivation will do funny things to your mind. I’ve heard some liken it to being drunk. If so, that one came after a kegger.
So I decided to pack my little miracle in a bottle this morning. 1) A diet. 2) Four hours of sleep. 3) Re-acclimating to riding to work. Yep, we’re back in the saddle boys! It’s…
Nothing inspires optimism like a newborn child. Apparently, the same can be said for wonder and amazement. We have such low expectations for a newborn’s abilities; each small feat of physical ability transcends normal development to the realm of the natural wonders of the world.
“Look at Adam now, he’s so big, look at how well he holds his head up.”
“Awh, isn’t…
It all started last evening with a question, “John, do you want anything from Smokey Joe’s?” My stomach said, “Boy do I!” But my brain intervened, “I guess so.”
Damn diet.
It turns out the stomach won out. I had a whole heapin helping of B-B-Q pork with cinnamon apples and steamed broccoli. That first bite of pork, dipped in sauce, it was like manna from…
The weather matches my state of mind precisely; fog. Looks like I picked a heck of a day to start riding my bike to work again. The important thing is that I got here in one piece. The gimpy ankle stood up to the test, but then there’s not much lateral movement on a bike (not if you do it right anyway). Now if I could just piece together a few coherent thoughts I’ll be just peachy.
Do…
Eating healthy food is way easier when you’re hungry. This is perhaps the best thing about the starvation diet. All that green stuff in the grocery store; you know, that strange corner of my Publix behind the frozen pizza, where they keep that stuff that kind of looks like the things that grow instead of grass in my yard, it turns out that under some circumstances it actually tastes…
The hardest part about this diet thing is giving up caffeine.
“Caffeine? What does caffeine have to do with a nutritionally balanced diet?”
Nothing really, I guess, I’ve just decided that if I’m going to eat healthy I might as well throw out the baby with the bath water.
“That’s crazy talk man. You’re not Catholic, and it’s not even lent for…