Factoid number 1: There are more Dunkin Donuts per square mile in New Hampshire than good drivers (based on personal observation).
Factoid number 2: There are more Starbucks per square mile in Florida than drivers under 65 (based on personal observation).
Factoid number 3: The most typical Starbucks customer is an urban, liberal woman under 50 (based on statistical analysis).
Factoid number 4: The…
In honor of the 109th Congress, we’ve been counting down the top ten threats to the institution of marriage in the free world. Next on the list is an insidious threat that resides in a dark place in all of our homes: laundry.
Nothing gets my goat more than someone who puts his or her dirty laundry in the hamper inside out. As if putting away laundry isn’t bad enough, now I’ve got to turn it…
I’m so out of whack right now I almost don’t want to discuss it.
I did say ALMOST, didn’t I?
A mid-week holiday almost isn’t worth the trouble.
I did say ALMOST, didn’t I?
It all started on Sunday, just like the calendar says it should. Sunday morning went just as planned; I went to church, came home, took a nap. Then there was Sunday night. In a way it was Sunday night, but in another…
Have you ever heard the myth that short people tend to be the biggest braggarts? If true, imagine what it would mean if you were the totalitarian ruler of a smallish, extremely poor country; AND, you were only 5′ 3″? I give you Kim Jong-il, leader/ruler/supremely powerful person** of the ironically named “Democratic People’s Republic of Korea.”
First of all, someone should tell him that…
See if you can appreciate my dilemma. I was getting into the car after an uneventful family outing. I was saddling up in a fashion that left my posterior an attractive target, and my wife gave it a good swat.
“What was that for? Did I do something?” I asked.
“You didn’t do anything John.”
“Is that supposed to be an affirmation or a repudiation?” I asked.
“I have no further comment…
I don’t have anything particularly insightful to say on the New York Times vs. George Bush debate… you know… the one where the New York Times, through its investigative reporting of government spying programs, is reportedly “giving comfort to our enemies.”
Neither fool, nor sloth, nor slowness of wit will keep me from my appointed rounds. I will expatiate on my opinion; no matter how…
Take a week and a half away from the office and things will be exactly the same – and eerily out of place all at once. Work for state government and come back from said absence to find that your barely broken-in, one year old PC has been replaced with a new flat panel model… and it may be time to schedule time with your local medical or religious professional.
Either I’m suffering from…
My humble suggestion for the evolving mother tongue:
Lawyer: v. (slang) to answer a question or inquiry in a manner which suggests or implies an answer (in a lawyer/client relationship), but which also avoids responsibility for explicitly stating or advocating the implied response. syn: obfuscate. Similar to: being cagy, or maintaining “plausible deniability.”
Used in a sentence: “I single…
Cut someone off in traffic, poke your head out the window, smile and wave… what’s up with that?
One: the gentleman was a vistor from New York City, understood my eye contact as a stipulation to yield, interpreted car lengths like we humans interpret dog years, and was thanking me for my generous nature.
Two: the gentleman knew he had cut me off and was thanking me for not making his car more…
Someone once told me that funerals are for the living not for the dead, and that pretty much sums up yesterday… a day that the living did their best to keep on living. Pity me not dear reader, for my loss was a pittance compared to my wife’s family. My role in this was to play back up… a role that I’m not particularly well suited, so you can imagine I was a big help.
As the day unfolded I…